PRETTY FREAKY

Evil, Corrupt, Unethical, Dead Wrong...Buy an Adjective

2012-03-07T10:40:00.010-05:00

If you're looking for some dirt on the recent Taranto escapade, here you go. I have put my thoughts on the matter together in a handy, bulleted list.

Anyone who writes columns with the clear intention to attack and smear certain people (individuals or any people affiliated with a certain political party) is...wait for it...evil.
Anyone who takes phone calls and/or money from bullies who have a political agenda (e.g., want someone like me vilified for daring to be a Democrat and a Catholic and a teacher all at the same time, and want to destroy my career over the pettiest, slightest misstep) is corrupt.
Anyone who does the above is also unethical and should not be writing for a newspaper, which is supposed to be a bastion of truth. (But we all know, don't we, that--for example--the WSJ is now a right-wing rag; it exists only to spread lies and incivility at the behest of its dictator, Mr. Murdoch.)
Anyone who twists words and facts and misrepresents my writings to make the (false) case that I am an "indoctrinating" teacher is indefensible and dead wrong.
Anyone who buys the lie (sold by the worst people I've ever had the misfortune to encounter) that I was or am a person who "targets" the children of Conservatives is sorely mistaken. It's precisely the other way around; I was THREATENED WITH DEATH BY CONSERVATIVES. For NOTHING. For daring to write about teaching without naming any student or ever being mean to any student (which of course I would never be). Bet you didn't know that, did you? No, of course you didn't, because it would hurt some opinion writers' smarmy spin to actually tell you the truth. If anyone was "targeted," it was me.
I stood up for myself (by writing about it), because to let death threats and other threats of ruination simply slide would mean 1) that I was a coward; and 2) other teachers like me would be next in line for hideous, unwarranted attacks. I will NOT let this happen to any other teacher. As a result of the publication of right-wing columns that vilified me, I was simply attacked more. I think that warrants a lawsuit, actually. Don't you?
If you've believed what you read in the WSJ or any other creepy tome of lies, you are sadly misinformed and/or brainwashed. If you know me, and if you know my work, you know that I am obsessed with honesty and am a peace-loving, mindful teacher with the dual intentions of helping all my students to reach their fullest potential and use their entire brain in order to make the world a better place.
If you've bought the lies of the shouting political sleazebags then I pity you, and you have my sincerest wishes that you will wake up and start thinking by evaluating facts, not ranty, one-sided opinions. I suggest wider reading and turning off the FOX. Burn the WSJ or any other right-wing extremist paper; listen to some BBC for an outside perspective.
Finally, I should mention that you'll enjoy my teaching memoir, TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL (out in about 6 weeks), and there are more books coming. I have much wisdom to share on the subject of teaching, and it seems the world really needs to hear it. The timing should be perfect; the rhetoric of incivility is heating up, thanks to the upcoming election, and now is the time we all need to be mindful of intellectual freedom, mindful of the reasons why teachers are important, and mindful of how many of us have been duped because of petty, political issues.
Yes, JT, this is mostly about you. I see you as an enemy of the truth, and you can't bully me into silence, no matter how hard you try. Admit that you were wrong; I don't care. You want to be like Rush Limbaugh or Breitbart? I think that is sad and disgusting. (You targeted me and you don't even know me. I have little doubt that you were put up to this. Yet, you continue to harass me. I have to wonder why you do what you do. What normal, well-adjusted, secure and kind person would behave that way? Because there is no other way to handle the matter and defend myself, I am targeting you right back; I am calling you out as a truth-twister who sows the seeds of incivility and leaves the world a worse place in his wake. I am telling the world that your writings about me are wrong.) To my mind, the way you attack other people is unforgivable. I hope your mother is proud of you. I hope that the paper you write for recognizes that you are a liability with a fan base of bullies who like to attack women for daring to have brains and a voice.

Maybe Your Dad IS One of America's Three Top Writers

2012-03-01T11:11:00.004-05:00

I have long believed that Nick Flynn's memoir title, Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, is the best book title I have ever read or heard of.

The best.

I love it completely.

Turns out that the title comes from a line his homeless dad used to describe what life is like on the streets.

It also turns out that Jonathan Flynn (the dad) has believed for perhaps decades that he is one of America's best writers (along with J.D. Salinger and Mark Twain).

See this NPR article for in-depth coverage of how Nick Flynn reunited with his long-lost dad, and what he learned, and director/screenwriter Ted Weitz's film, Being Flynn, based on the book Another Bullshit Night...

http://www.npr.org/2012/02/29/147570891/being-flynn-when-dad-needs-to-take-shelter?sc=tw&cc=share

Maybe Jonathan Flynn is indeed a great writer. He wrote a great book title (however accidentally), that's for sure.

Photo, still from "Being Flynn" by David Lee, Focus Features

I finally got Flynn's 2004 memoir (which I can read after I finish two book reviews). Perhaps the timing is perfect, as Weitz's new film, starring Robert DeNiro as Jonathan Flynn, is just coming out. It's called Being Flynn.

I can't wait to see it.

Good luck to all the Flynns. I am glad to know of your hard-won and long-in-coming success, and congratulations on the acclaim (multiplied now, because of the film) you will get for daring to share your painful stories.

I think it's so important to share stories, and the more painful the story is, the more useful it can be to humanity. After all, as Jonathan Flynn aptly noted, that's the most important thing in life: helping other people.

How to Demoralize Teachers - Bridging Differences - Education Week

2012-02-28T11:50:00.000-05:00

How to Demoralize Teachers - Bridging Differences - Education Week

If There's No Time to Teach Art, Let's Not Pretend to Teach It

2012-02-27T11:43:00.007-05:00

It's the contemporary parent's constant nightmare. You buy pricey instruments for all the kids and each kid lasts about six months before wanting to quit, claiming she hasn't learned how to play in school, and citing frustration at not being selected for orchestra.

Each time this has happened, it has saddened me. I protested every time, "You really wanted to play the flute (or violin or guitar or piano). You were desperate for that instrument!" (...one I either rented at exorbitant cost or bought outright. Anyone want one of our four guitars? One of our two violins? I think I already got rid of the flute.)

I thought my kids were going to learn how to play their instruments in school...you know, the way we all used to? Well, there are still music lessons in school, but from what I understand, the lessons are crowded, noisy, and there is no personal instruction that takes place. It's catch-as-catch-can. It's essentially learn your own dang instrument.

So, fine. I know that the school has hundreds of students. There is only one music teacher for all these kids. It's frankly amazing that they have orchestra, lessons, and twice weekly music classes.

But here's my point: if there isn't realistically time to teach all these kids how to play the instrument(s) their parents bought for them--and force them to practice at home, fomenting untold familial fights--then let's not pretend that there is.

Let's not act like we're teaching the arts in school if we really don't have the time and/or money to do so.

Let's be realistic. Say to us, the parents, "Well, yeah, it would be great if all the kids learned an instrument. Music instruction and musical practice and learning how to read music is just an all-around great idea. Understanding music helps with understanding many other academic subjects. Playing an instrument is something that every educated, well-rounded person should know how to do."

This probably is said (although I don't even need to hear it; I already know it).

What isn't said is: "We want to get you all excited to get your kids instruments and sign them up for all our musical offerings. The truth is, however, there is no time in the school day to teach them how to play. We act like there is, but realistically, there isn't. So, go ahead send your kid to school with her violin twice a week, but honestly, don't expect her to learn how to play it here."

That's a harsh truth, but I don't mind harshness, as long as it's realistic. Just be honest with me. Be honest with us. Don't waste my (or our) time.

Say instead: "It is a good idea to push your child to learn how to play an instrument--and then stick with that instrument. Your child isn't going to learn that in school, however. We just can't carve out any time because you know, test prep (PSSA, 4Sight, Benchmarks, etc.) sucks up all the time. No, you'll really need to find a private teacher. So, um, good luck with that!"

If I had known a few years ago that my kids would not learn how to play music in school (I have hired outside teachers after wasting many months expecting them to get some instruction at the elementary level), I could have saved a lot of time, and my kids could have been saved a lot of frustration. They might have actually learned how to play all those instruments by now.

Arts in school--whether that is musical instruction or visual art (another area that I believe is getting short shrift)--is something we all want. We all should want the arts.

We should also expect classroom instruction in the arts. But if that is not realistic anymore--not in this sad time of harsh budget-cutting and too much attention on the TEST, TEST, TEST--tell us that.

Tell us the school can't do it. Don't pretend that it can. Because pretending helps no one learn.

Very Pinteresting!

2012-02-23T20:58:00.000-05:00

I only learned about Pinterest a few days ago.

pinterest.com

It looks like an assortment of themed bulletin boards (get it? pins?). Visually, I find it intriguing, and it has that homey, quilt-y feel to it, but the marketer in me says...from whence will the profit come?

No, the marketer in me did not really say that. The teacher in me did.

Ann Romney is all over Pinterest, or so I read in the news yesterday. Will I be on it? I don't know yet; it turns out that you have to be invited.

Well, I applied for an invitation. We shall see how it goes. I never could get excited about Tumblr...

I was, however, very intrigued to see that some teachers have added me to their Pinterest boards. My blog hits are already going way up. Thank you, ladies. Thank you for liking my blog and my ideas about teaching.

Thank you, especially, for being excited to read my book, TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL. You made my day, seriously.

I am hoping TOO COOL will be on sale in the next 6 weeks or so. I will keep you posted, via Pretty Freaky, my blog.

Thanks again,

Elizabeth Collins

Vasectomies Only in Life-Threatening Cases...Too Funny

2012-02-22T13:45:00.002-05:00

http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2012/02/21/georgia-democrats-to-propose-limitations-on-vasectomies-for-men/comment-page-28/#comment-1067129

The above article is about a daring, satirical move that is meant to shed light on the absurdity of inserting government into an individual's sex life (and reproductive freedom).

It's a satirical ploy. But of course, many people do not understand satire. What a shame.

I believe this move by Rep. Neal is meant to cause a stir and force people to seriously evaluate who has a say in how and when pregnancy begins. Here is wishing her luck and strength and resilience in the face of the crazy catcalls that are already coming her way.

But the point is: if people are causing a fuss about this (for men), then why aren't people standing up for women in the same way?

Then, too, there is the common saying that if men could get pregnant, all birth control would be simple, readily available, and free. Imagine: women telling men that they can't get a vasectomy...it's actually very funny.

And when does life truly begin? At conception? At the glint in a lover's eye? Or, as I heard on TV recently, at "last call?"

None of us know. So no one should have the right to impose a biased, personal belief on others. I don't impose my beliefs about reproduction on other people, and in the face of the Sanctimonious Santorums of the world, I would simply ask that everyone else do the same...back off.

What is Lovelier Than Snow in Philly, or a Great Comeback Story?

2012-02-15T11:09:00.004-05:00

Story originally on Good Morning America (abcnews); photo, courtesy Jerry Tomko

I was struck by the beauty of the above wedding photo--taken of Melinda Muniz, who is recovering after lifesaving leukemia treatment at Thomas Jefferson University hospital in Philadelphia, and her new husband, Christopher Jones.

The photographer is Jerry Tomko, and the story, written by Susan Donaldson James, was found here:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/cancer-stricken-philadelphia-woman-chance-life-half-match/story?id=15598824#.TzvX7pjfETM (it's also on the front page of Yahoo right now)

There are so many feel-good facets to this story: the optimism of marrying despite illness (something similar, though not as extreme, happened to me); getting a gift from a fellow survivor (talented wedding photographer Tomko, who wanted to "give back" to Jefferson for saving his own life); and the pricelessness of capturing a sweet moment of beauty, peace, and triumph.

It reminds me of the famous Rocky on the Steps photo that I have on my blog somewhere. This is obviously intentional--but it's very effective, is it not? (The Rocky shot on Pretty Freaky gets many hits a day, usually from people in Russia).

Anyway--best of luck to Melinda, Christopher, Jerry, and all survivors. Thanks for sharing your stories.

Books are Axes for the Frozen Sea Inside Us...

2012-02-03T17:10:00.000-05:00

“I think we ought to read the kind of books that wound and stab us. If the book we are reading doesn’t wake us up with a blow on the head, what are we reading it for? So that it will make us happy? ...We need books that affect us like disaster, that grieve us deeply, like the death of someone we loved more than ourselves, like being banished into forests far from everyone, like a suicide. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside us. That is my belief.” —Franz Kafka in a letter to his friend Pollak (1904)

On that note, Kafka would love my memoir, Too Cool for School...coming soon.

It's a "Stunning, Unforgettable Collection!" The Beautiful Anthology--coming soon!

2012-01-31T12:28:00.001-05:00

"Subverting time-worn clichés about beauty and self-acceptance, The Beautiful Anthology delivers a fresh exploration of everything from body art, freckles, and big noses to the misfortunes of musical “perfection,” misguided parenting, birth, and death. It’s a stunning, unforgettable collection."

--Diana Spechler, author the novels Who By Fire (Harper Perennial, 2008) and Skinny (Harper Perennial, 2011).

Established and emerging writers from across the globe are featured together in an exciting new anthology of essays, poems, and art from TNB Books (the publishing imprint and offshoot of the popular literary Web site, The Nervous Breakdown). Edited by Elizabeth Collins.

Includes essays, stories, poems and art by Robin Antalek, Matthew Baldwin, Jessica Anya Blau, Nora Burkey, Elizabeth Collins, Ronlyn Domingue, Melissa Febos, Rich Ferguson, M. J. Fievre, J. E. Fishman, Gina Frangello, Marni Grossman, James Irwin, Quenby Moone, Uche Ogbuji, Greg Olear, Victoria Patterson, Judy Prince, Rachel Pollon, Lance Reynald, Steve Sparshott, Tyler Stoddard Smith, Stephanie St. John, Catherine Tufariello, Angela Tung, Stephen Walter, and Zoe Zolbrod.

Making the Rounds with my FB Writer Friends

2012-01-27T19:47:00.001-05:00

Good writing work advice from the prolific Henry Miller.

Redefining Instruction With Technology: Five Essential Steps

2012-01-26T04:19:00.001-05:00

Redefining Instruction With Technology: Five Essential Steps

One teacher learned the hard way that just bringing iPads into the classroom won't truly change things—you have to redefine your practice. (From "Education Week," January 26, 2012)

Get Ready for The Beautiful Anthology

2012-01-25T19:21:00.006-05:00

Here is the full cover. This book is coming in the spring (will post exact release date when I have it confirmed).

I am very excited for and proud of this great collection of creative writing that I edited (slavishly, for a year). 27 writers participated--myself included; I was asked to contribute and then I was asked to be editor. There is such diversity of talent and content here. I have read every piece countless times, but I never get tired of this book. It's that engaging.

The Beautiful Anthology

Release Date: Spring, 2012 (never fear: I will announce when the book goes on sale!)

Genre: Essays, Poems & Art

An exciting compilation of personal stories about beauty (or lack thereof). Thought-provoking, shocking, and altogether entertaining.

What Caused the Deficit Problem? Who Ran up the Debt?

2012-01-25T08:01:00.002-05:00

Why Liberals Offend the GOP: Because Liberals Help People

2012-01-23T10:34:00.013-05:00

And here, for your reading pleasure, is a snippet from my upcoming memoir,

Too Cool for School. I think it complements the ad above.

Now that an extra, unexpected person was here, the chairs in the principal’s office were inadequate. ____ to my shock, took the seat next to me, the chair intended for the principal—it went with the man’s desk. My new neighbor scooted very close to me, right in my face, and accused me of all sorts of asinine things—mostly concerning being a "liberal.” This word was spat, repeatedly, like a curse. All of these accusations of my purported “liberal democrat” status had nothing to do with the issue we were there to discuss.

The Reason for the Quiet

2012-01-21T14:20:00.002-05:00

I have not been blogging lately (really, only re-posting interesting things I've seen) because of health reasons.

It's not that serious: I just hurt my back (I am not quite sure how; I think the pain began after I sat on the couch one afternoon--something I really never do--to keep my flu-ish daughter company).

This new back pain, which has been ongoing for about three weeks, makes it very difficult for me to sit in a chair. It also makes it difficult to write or do any computer work.

I have always been one of those people who thought of others who complained of back pain, "Oh, get over it. You have to keep moving or it will only get worse!" Back pain sufferers were, I always thought, a bit whiny.

Now, I have empathy. Now, I understand. When back pain strikes, everything is hard.

Grocery shopping is very difficult right now. So is reaching for the sea salt in a tall cabinet. So is putting on socks or standing up from a supine position.

I think the back pain is easing (it's not as bad as it was, not hardly), but just when I think it's almost gone, it comes back. I am really not sure if it's a pinched nerve, or arthritis, or what.

If you have any words of wisdom, do share. Trust me, I know all the exercises.I do the Tibetan Seven. I use a heating pad. I take joint pain supplements. I think I need a new bed, but aside from that (and realizing that sitting makes the pain worse), I am out of ideas.

I have not seen a chiropractor since I felt that the chiro I saw 10 years ago basically ripped me off. I have seen a masseuse a couple of times. I think that helped, but I know that the issue is still there, inside somewhere.

Anyway, enough about my back! If you have back pain, I sincerely do empathize. You might try what I've tried, in case it helps you. In the meantime, I will blog again with a vengeance when my tailbone can stand it.

What SOPA and PIPA Will Mean For You and Me: The Crippling Of The Internet {Video}

2012-01-18T12:40:00.002-05:00

What SOPA and PIPA Will Mean For You and Me: The Crippling Of The Internet {Video}

Did John Hughes Movies Make a Difference for You?

2012-01-10T11:20:00.004-05:00

I, too, grew up on John Hughes movies. The essay below made me feel sentimental, but it also articulated for me (something I never did for myself as a young teenager) why Hughes' writing and films resonated, and still do.

This is a good read (and I think the title misleads; Wager clearly adored John Hughes, as did so many of us):

See Hilary Wagner's post on PROJECT MAYHEM: How John Hughes Ruined My Life

Great Ideas for Boosting Brain Power

2012-01-05T10:24:00.005-05:00

I'm rather obsessed with helping other people think faster, be sharper, and perform better on all types of academic projects. I also believe that we can help ourselves be smarter. We can enjoy life more and be of more use to society if we specifically train our brains.

That's why I was thrilled to read a huge "Get Smarter" spread in Newsweek (January 9 and 16, 2012, double issue, on sale now).

Some of these tips are things I already do and already teach--such as The Pomodoro Technique, reading a wide variety of materials, exercising regularly, always eating yogurt (seriously!), meditating and developing personally meaningful memory retention strategies.

Other ideas were new to me, but I will certainly try them and urge any reader here to do the same.

Here is a list of especially intriguing tools and tips for getting smarter:

1. We all know that the internet is a time suck, don't we? It's hard to disconnect sometimes, and the e-mail constantly trickles in. I either have to physically remove myself from online access, OR...I just read something great: There is special software (it's called Freedom--how apt!) that will block the internet so that you can concentrate. Brilliant! Now, I don't have to jet off to the middle of nowhere. I can stay right here and still be productive.

2. I am always talking about making flashcards; I prefer them hand-wrtten, as it turns out that writing by hand uses more parts of the brain and thus, aids in retention of information. Still, when you are in a rush (go back later and hand-write a flashcard!), try SuperMemo. Write those facts down fast, before you forget them; SuperMemo will nudge you to review the information.

3. Train your brain. Word games, memorizing poetry, reading Shakespeare, watching the English Al Jazeera, learning a new language, knitting, and specifically working on memory drills or focusing, for a month or so, on learning a new task--it's all cognitive exercise. It's all good for you and literally builds up your brain. The point is that we have to specifically push ourselves to learn new things. Don't give up if something doesn't come to you easily (for example, I really have no patience for knitting, but I know it would be good for me to do, so I haven't given up yet). Our brains can increase their synapses through training, and we can train ourselves to be smarter! Conversely, our brains will become weaker if we don't read and if we watch too much TV.

4. Follow your passion. Most of us realize that if we really don't care about a subject, we are going to have a hard time remembering much about it. But can passion, interest and attention be developed? I think so; you just need to pay attention to connections. See what interests you. Follow that interest to the next thing that intrigues. Keep going. Keep reading (example: reading about Russia reminds a reader of the Ballet Russes; then she reads about Coco Chanel; then, she is on to Bauhaus architecture--always nudged along by interesting tangents in her original reading).

5. Take free courses at iTunes U. I did not even know such a wonder existed, though I have long been a fan of the Great Courses (this is a catalog; they sell DVDs of profs teaching fascinating courses).

6. Read the Great Books. It's a personal goal. I've done it. You could be able to say that you've done it, too. Read the entire Bible (which I've also done). Read Ulysses. Do something big and inspiring. Let yourself take as long as you need to; just don't give up!

7. Rest. It is by daydreaming, taking a break, zoning out and going for a walk that we can best spark creativity. I personally find that carving out a break time (I walk) always gives me new ideas, especially when I am working on a novel.

8. Think critically. Also, think analytically. Write book reviews. Write consumer reviews. Write anything! Start a blog. The more you write, the more you will realize you know. Writing is always great practice--not only for its own sake, but also for developing thinking skills.

For a full list of tips, see Newsweek's 31 Ways to Get Smarter--Faster.

Happy brain training, and Happy New Year!

My 2011 Reading List (and the year's not over yet)

2011-12-15T14:05:00.132-05:00

I have not included cover art for all books because I don't have time. I may finish this task or I may not. No personal slights intended!
Included are lists of books I reviewed, books I read for pleasure, and books I read in order to grow as a person. There's something for everyone.
Happy reading!

Books I reviewed or wrote about:

An American Radical by Susan Rosenberg
http://internetreviewofbooks.blogspot.com/search?q=an+american+radical

West of Here by Jonathan Evison
http://www.bookslut.com/features/2011_05_017610.php

Fathermucker by Greg Olear
http://www.bookslut.com/features/2011_09_018080.php

The Gods of Greenwich by Norb Vonnegut
http://internetreviewofbooks.blogspot.com/2011/06/gods-of-greenwich.html?spref=bl

Books I read for entertainment:

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier (Highly recommended! This is a brilliant suspense novel, and precisely the sort of masterwork that would never get published now because it takes 50 or so pages to get going, but when it does, watch out! Thank you to my favorite book catalog, Bas Bleu, for the spot-on recommendation.)

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (I adored this book, although I resisted reading it for a long time because it was such a commercial hit. Now I understand why everyone loved it. This novel--about WWII-era Guernsey and London and the Nazi occupation of the Channel islands--should be a film) by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

Linger by Maggie Stiefvater (I read YA because I write YA. This particular novel is very good, even better than its predecessor, Shiver. I really enjoyed the werewolf novel, Shiver, and found it intelligent and well crafted, except for the very, very end...but that's what happens when a sequel is planned, I suppose.)

Forever by Maggie Stiefvater (Final book in the changing-into-wolves trilogy; I think the series should have ended with Linger. My verdict is, unfortunately, negative. I really hate the multiple narrators thing, and in this case, I didn't like the characters who got the focus; they were the unlikeable characters. When different narrative voices are used in a novel--by any author--they always end up sounding alike to me. That trick is getting tiresome, and I wish the trend would die.)

Mockingjay (last Hunger Games book) by Suzanne Collins (Why does the final book in a series that started out so strong always feel like a waste of time and money? I loved The Hunger Games. I seriously loved it. The second novel, Catching Fire, felt much weaker. Mockingjay was weaker still. From now on, I will not read the third book in a trilogy…no more three part series, please, commercial publishers! The Hunger Games was awesome, but I think the story was simply pushed too far, and it read as though the author was rushed to pump out the next two books, or maybe her heart wasn't in it anymore.)

My mother lent me Tina Fey’s Bossypants (read it on the Kindle). I live next to Fey’s parents and see her several times a year. She seems nice, but I always feel like a loser when the driver in the Escalade pulls up. Fey wrote a book that will give readers some laughs (and provides great behind-the-scenes gossip about the Palin thing), but I am glad I didn't pay for this considering the gaping wage discrepancy between Fey and myself. That's just my way of evening the playing field...I am kidding. I still hold out hope that she will play me someday in the movie version (if one is ever made) of my memoir...I get, "You are just like Tina Fey as the teacher in Mean Girls!" all the time when I am teaching.

A Stolen Life by Jaycee Dugard (Jaycee was the girl who was kidnapped and lived with her captor for decades, bearing two children by him...the story is so creepy. Dugard is largely self-taught, and I think she had ghostwriting help, but she's still an inspiration. This book is not literature per se, but it's an interesting story and sheds much light on Stockholm Syndrome and brainwashing.)

The Coffins of Little Hope by Timothy Schaffert (Utterly lovely novel from a great small press. I was enchanted by this book about an eccentric family. I don't recall specifics because I read it months ago, but I really enjoyed the novel. The title is from left field; it's a sweet, quiet, literary story--just what I like.)

The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery; Translated by Alison Anderson (Intelligent, impressive, thought-provoking and truly amazing for a translation. I see that its Amazon reviews are not fabulous, but maybe you have to be a Philosophy major, like me, to get it...)

Winter’s Bone by Daniel Woodrell. (A fine novel that is engaging, haunting, and leaves you thinking. There is a strong, young female protagonist, and interesting details about American poor in the Ozarks. I have been recommending this book as supplemental reading for all the AP English students I tutor because it has many relevant themes and something interesting to say about human nature and resilience.)

The Patron Saint of Liars by Ann Patchett. It took me a while to get to this novel by Patchett (I greatly admire her memoir, Truth & Beauty), possibly because it's about unwed mothers, strict Catholicism, giving babies away, etc. (Disclosure: I am an adoptee and found many parallels between my own birth and this novel.) I found the main character unsympathetic and inscrutable, but nevertheless, I loved the story. It disturbed me in some ways, but I am impressed by Patchett's ability to imagine a world she probably doesn't know at all.

Back When We Were Grownups by Anne Tyler. I found this book in our beach house. Anne Tyler is always good. Always. What a prolific and talented writer! This novel is about a catering hall of sorts, and it's about the strange, sudden choices we make that alter our lives forever; it's also about accepting ourselves for what we've become and not trying to rewrite the past.

Game Change by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin. I was so looking forward to this book (all the dirt about the Clintons, Obama, McCain and Palin), but I found it a bit of a let-down. It's impressive from a reportage standpoint, but all I really learned is that the presidential candidates apparently cuss like sailors...and that Palin is as doltish as I already thought she was.

Books I read for my own personal edification:

The China Study by T. Colin Campbell (Very interesting; about the health dangers and heart problems caused by our consumption of animal-based foods, written by a scientist who used his own family story as the basis for his research. )

Jesus Land (a memoir) by Julia Scheeres. (Why I read so many books about hard-core Christianity this past year, I do not know. But this one was great. Scary, disturbing, traumatic, and sad. This is what happens when people focus on religion and their church but don't actually care for other people--what I would term hypocrisy. Scheeres had two adopted brothers--one of whom raped her constantly, but the other she loved dearly and tried to protect, to no avail. Her parents were modern-day Puritans and obvious racists. The kids, Scheeres and one brother, got sent to a frightening Christian reform school that they barely survived...read the book.)

Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi. (Absolutely brilliant graphic novel about a family and young woman enduring the Iranian revolution. You'll learn so much about this horror, and, ironically, you'll laugh and love the cartoons. For all ages.)

How to Live: Or a Life of Montaigne in One Question and 20 Attempts at an Answer by Sarah Bakewell (This is a great book about one of my favorite topics--Montaigne's essays--and one I will surely re-read. Includes fascinating biographical information about Montaigne; this book is so well crafted. What I learned most of all is that life for Montaigne hundreds of years ago was not all that different--from a human perspective, from an emotional and intellectual standpoint--as it is now.)

Innovation You: Four Steps to Becoming New and Improved by Jeff DeGraff (Part business consulting, part life coaching, this is the type of book I would ordinarily never read, but I found much food for thought here and plenty of useful advice. In fact, I racked up a big library fine because I didn't want to bring the book back...I should just buy it. And so should you!)

90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper and Cecil Murphey (I picked this up because one of my daughter’s friends told her to read it. My child didn’t like it because I think it scared her…it wasn't scary, but I thought the description of heaven was vague and unsatisfying—Piper, by his own account, didn't see much of heaven and never even went through the pearly gates before he was sent back—but I liked the parts about recovering from injury. I know what that's like.)

Note: I also read The Boy Who Came Back from Heaven by Kevin Malarkey and Alex Malarkey (I found it relentlessly evangelical and freaky. It sort of feels like one of those chain letters. Now, as a huge fan of The Tibetan Book of the Dead and other classic works of mysticism, I am always interested in books about the life of the spirit and "proof" of God and angels, but I am definitely not a Bible thumper, as one would probably have to be in order to connect with or love this book).

Then They Came for Me by Maziar Bahari (A scary and enlightening memoir about a journalist's recent imprisonment in Iran under the Ahmadinejad and Khamenei regime. It may be TMI in some areas--tons of background info on the big Iranian pols and religious figures that starts to blur, in a way. Still, it's an apt warning for all societies about what can happen when intolerant religious fundamentalists feel threatened by open-minded academics, journalists, etc. That happens all the time, and it could even happen here (and has). Fortunately, Bahari escaped execution; he got out of prison, but just barely, and endured countless beatings and savage, absurd interrogations. Of course, Bahari hadn't even done anything wrong. As I told my students, this is the type of cautionary tale that potentially applies to any and everyone--and then I explained the title, based on the Pastor Niemoller quote. I understood much more about Iran after reading Then They Came for Me; my attention to the topic had initially been grabbed by Persepolis. This new memoir was the perfect follow-up.)

Main book I taught this year:

Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder (Needless to say, I recommend this interesting nonfiction biography of the amazing and saint-like Dr. Paul Farmer; it's about poverty and public health in Haiti--and in Russia and Peru. It's also about how much we can accomplish if we actually have purpose in our lives, and it's about the truth of life: work never ends, and there is always more we can do to be of use to humanity.)

Books I read to be on same page as my daughter

Revolution is Not a Dinner Party by Ying Chang Compestine (lovely middle grade novel--based on the author's own childhood experiences--about the 1970s Communist revolution in China under Chairman Mao. This one made my pre-teen think...and I found the writing crystal clear and perfect.)

The Code: The 5 Secrets of Teen Success by Mawi Asgedom (This book--half memoir, half self-help guide--is hugely inspiring, a keeper for life. Motivational speaker and Harvard grad Mawi Asgedom is the best role model a kid could probably ever have. Do your own kids a favor: give them this book. It's basically a Mawi lecture in book form, but for those of us who don't have Mawi speaking at our schools, get the book!

Apps Help Improve Writing Skills (as Does Wide Reading)

2011-12-07T11:33:00.022-05:00

Big news lately: Doctors are prescribing reading books to babies.

http://www.philly.com/philly/insights/in_education/20110919_Doctor_s_orders__Read_to_baby.htm

l can tell you from experience that reading to kids from infancy fosters a love of literature that will last a lifetime. Not only that, but the earlier we start reading or being read to, the more we can read and absorb, and the more we will know.

Perhaps some people need to see a formal article or scientific study to back up the claim that increased exposure to books helps kids develop literacy skills (I would think this would be a no-brainer!), but, for the rest of you: just try it. You can't go wrong reading books to your kids.

I can also tell you--as a teacher and as a person who learned how to write and developed a desire to write because I was, and still am, a wide reader--that reading helps with writing.

What I did not know is that all those apps out there now (like the ones my children charge to my AmEx from their iPods, or apps you can buy for your iPhone or iPad) include some great, fun tools that can actually help kids improve their writing skills.

Guest writer / teacher Elaine Hirsch has the details:

Top Five Apps to Help Improve Writing Skills

Helping your children with their writing used to mean repetitive writing exercises in notebooks and endless piles of grammar worksheets, but technology has changed the way in which kids can learn how to write. Tablets and smartphones have been instrumental in this change, so check out these great apps which can help improve your child's writing skills in an engaging and fun manner.

Chronicle for iPad (see screenshot, above) is an app that allows your children to create individual journals that are carried on their tablets. Kids can record short items like lists or scraps of conversation, or they can fully describe an important event. Not only will this app help child writers organize their thoughts, it will also allow kids to record a written snapshot of their lives and improve their writing skills at the same time, a skill which will reap dividends later on when they are pursuing ambitious master's degree programs.

Essay-Czar is a professional app that is helpful to your kids as they get older (high school and college). This app is often purchased by schools to help students find answers to questions about essay writing. Essay-Czar explains how to write more than 40 types of essays while also giving students an idea of what to expect on the SATs.

My Writing Spot is the solution when your student wants to write but is away from his or her desk. This app has the full functionality of a good word-processing program, including features such as word count, document groups, dictionary, thesaurus, and spell-checking. It is fully compatible with Bluetooth keyboards, and it also allows your child to lock writing work with a password.

Chapters is an app that allows each child to keep his or her own notebook on your smart phone. These virtual notebooks get different cover styles with their own passwords, and you can also separate notebooks by category. Consider how much fun your kids will have creating notebooks on their lives, on their schoolwork, and on their personal projects. (Sounds like an easy way for a kid to start writing a novel or book-length work!)

Grammar App HD takes your children back to the basics. This app is oriented around getting better with grammar, which helps children pick up the basic building blocks of writing, making communication easier. This interactive app quizzes students and helps them become more comfortable with grammar and what it can do. (This is a great choice if you need to entertain younger students on long car trips but want to steer clear of time wasters such as Angry Birds.)

A definite link exists between students' writing and their capacity for success, so don’t underestimate the help your iPhone or tablet can be. Many of the apps mentioned provide enjoyable ways for children and students to exercise their writing skills.

There are plenty of tools out there for parents who want to help their children become better writers, so consider these apps when teaching your children or students.

(And don't forget to keep reading!)

On Reading, Writing, Editing, Time Mgmt, & Study Skills

2011-12-04T20:25:00.012-05:00

This is my end-of-the-semester review sheet for my college students, but it would work for any student, I believe. I hope it helps. We are all students of life, after all...

My Best General Tips on All of the Following School-y Topics

Reading

· Make reading active. Read with a pen or pencil in your hand. Use that writing instrument to underline, make margin notes, scribble little stars by important passages, AND—if you really want to remember what you are reading—copy down key passages in the notebook that is sitting next to you. (There’s a notebook sitting next to you, right?) *Note: students should NOT rewrite a textbook in their notebook. Taking notes on EVERYTHING is pointless and will only lead to confusion about what's most important (and it will lead to lack of retention of the information). Just read a bit. Think about what you read (purpose, tone, thesis). Jot down some key phrases, questions, and ideas. Copy facts you might need to know for a test. That's it!

· Don’t read in bed late at night unless it’s a book you are reading for recreation (not for college or work). First, you won’t complete the reading you need to because you will fall asleep too soon. Second, you won’t remember what you read because how many people lie in bed with a pen and notebook along with a book? Hardly anyone. If you do, well, good for you, but I can tell you from experience that you will inevitably get big, impossible-to-remove ink stains on your sheets from the pen that will (also inevitably) drop from your hands after you fall asleep. Lying in bed with a pen is like falling asleep with gum in your mouth. It never turns out well. Think about it.

· After you read, try to talk about the book with another person who has read it (ideally, people in your class). Go out for coffee with people and talk about books (no, really). We need to be sure that we can articulate our ideas about our reading. Try this verbally for starters. Try to articulate your ideas about your reading in your class writing, too. Listen to others talk (aural comprehension). It all helps to enhance your understanding!

· Ask the questions or make the two points you wrote down in your notebook…because you always, always prepare for a class by planning two things to ask or say, right? (This is my big hint for getting your prof to admire you, and for making an impression, learning something, and upping your participation grade. You can do this for class or business. Just do it. You will feel better about yourself, and everyone will admire your brainpower and self discipline.)

Writing

· When you feel you have nothing to say, free write. This means: write anything, just get going, even if you start off by writing, "I have no idea what to write about. I am supposed to write a persuasive paper about the ethical decisions behind the recent bill to blah blah blah, and I don't get it; I don't have any opinions; I don't know what to say..." Even if you start off doing this, you will eventually get to a point, to some usable material. Just start writing and then see where the writing takes you. You will--maybe after a page or two of scribble--get somewhere, and it’s good training (like running, which always starts hard and then you hit your stride).

· Write a little bit everyday when you have a big assignment or paper looming. Don’t try to do it all at once. It will not be good writing.

· Writing is RE-writing. I am a professional writer and guess what my first drafts of my personal essays or creative writing look like? Nothing like my final drafts. Night and day. My first drafts are stupid and boring, and so are yours (probably).

· So, write until you just don’t feel like writing anymore (make notes at your stopping point about what you might say next; I always do this with my fiction writing, and it’s a lifesaver, trust me. I usually know where I think I want to go with something so I will write, EXPAND MORE ON ALIX’S DREAM HERE, or something like that, and it makes it simple to pick up the writing again when I am fresh. If I did not do this, I would forget everything and be stuck. Try a similar tactic.

Editing

· Always come back to your writing and add more.

· Then, go over what you already have written and make it better. (Don’t do this before you add more because you will spend all your time/energy fixing the old stuff but you won’t make any progress in terms of content. If you think you’re done with the complete draft, then it’s okay.)

· Look at it again (REVISE) and read your work aloud. You will hear what sounds convoluted, and the awkward parts can be difficult to see (they are always easy to hear, so make reading your work aloud a habit before you turn it in).

· Proofread. Self-edit. Let someone else read your work, too, and/or let them listen to you read it. Ask them where they were confused or wanted to know more. Take notes based on what they tell you and be objective, not defensive. Everyone’s work can always be better. Try to make your writing better, and don’t leave it all until the last minute.

· When we edit ourselves, we do not only add more (expand on our thoughts and keep going), but we also fix errors and CUT what isn’t serving our paper. Do not be afraid to cut parts of your writing. Everything needs to be working toward your goal: supporting your thesis (you have a thesis, right?).

· Usually, other readers are the best people to tell us where we should cut. This is always the hardest thing to see in our own writing/editing.

· Use a service such as Grammarly.com or, for book length work, AutoCrit. Grammarly, for example, will show you where your writing is too wordy, confusing, grammatically incorrect (and pay attention here so you don’t keep making the same mistakes over and over!), etc.

· It is tough to edit your own work! Try to exchange papers with someone and help each other. I have to pay people to edit my work. Try to find someone who works for free but will still do a good job for you.

· When you get a paper back from a professor, read the notes. Trust me: time was spent reading and commenting on your paper. There’s nothing worse (from a prof’s perspective) than making the same comments over and over and over again because clearly, no one was reading them.

Study skills

· Take notes while you read (see my comments on reading, above).

· If there’s anything you want to remember (this is how I memorize information), copy it down. Read it again. Try to copy it from memory. Check how you did (quiz yourself). What did you miss? Read the text and write it from memory again. Keep doing this until you have it memorized and it’s perfect.

· You can do the above with flashcards, too. WRITE your own flashcards (don’t buy them pre-made). Staring at flashcards will not magically make the information imprint itself into your brain. You have to pick up a pen and write/re-write to get the information memorized. This makes the learning visual and kinesthetic at the same time—a brilliant recipe for academic success.

·
Read ahead of the syllabus or class plan. You will never be in bad shape if you do this. Ideally, always read a book in its entirety before discussions even begin. Then, read it piecemeal as the discussions happen. Your comprehension and retention of the information will be so amazing, it will feel like you grew a new brain. Try it!

· Review your notes every night. Spend about 10 minutes looking over the notes you took for each class. If you do this, you will never have to study again. Never. Can you imagine? No, you can’t imagine it because you have probably never done it before. Try it for two weeks. No more cramming; no more all-nighters. Why didn’t you think of this before? God only knows, but you get it now, so live your life in this new, far easier way.

· Study sitting up at a table like a Scandinavian student. (I am half Scandinavian, but I didn’t know about this Nordic trick until I was about 28 and in grad school. It totally works—probably because it is much harder to fall asleep when you are sitting at a table). You will need to prop up your books with a little reading rack. They sell these wooden desks-for-desks in the Levenger reader’s catalog, but you could also use a cookbook holder or something.

Time management

· We all procrastinate. I am not sure why. Maybe it has to do with dreading a certain task or tasks…maybe it’s because we’re worried about failure or success. Maybe it’s because there are simply too many distractions in life. Well, whatever. We can’t afford to procrastinate. Procrastination makes our lives suck. We must resolve to cease procrastinating and resolve to be more disciplined!

The best tool I’ve found to help with procrastination is (as I’ve mentioned) the Pomodoro Technique. Google it if you missed that class. The Pomodoro Technique calls for you to decide how much time you think a dreaded or overwhelming task is going to take. Break it down into little chunks (20-30 minutes). Work one un-interrupted (this is key!) chunk at a time. Check off your bwat or little sketch of a tomato. Congratulate yourself for a second. Do it again. And again. And again. Take a mini-break. Are you done now? Probably close to it. How awesome are you for buckling down and getting that task off your desk and off your mind? You are so awesome. Now, finish the next horrible task the same way and feel the relief wash over you…you are more productive and less stressed, aren’t you? I told you so. (Believe me, I have the same problems when it comes to work I have to do…)

Know your limits. My writing limit is 3-4 hours. I seriously cannot write for any longer that that. My brain is fried at that point (it's as if a switch turns it off), and I have to stop. If you know your limits, you can plan accordingly and not force yourself into writing garbage all night long because a paper is due tomorrow.

· Sometimes, the only solution is to physically remove yourself from the source of all distraction. Use the library. Lock yourself in one of those box-like rooms. Draw the blinds. Turn off your phone. No checking the internet, either! You can do this for 20-30 minutes. Try it. If you don’t feel like stopping for a tiny break after that, don’t. Keep going until you can’t anymore. This really works!

My best wishes for the rest of your academic careers (and your careers after that). It has been a privilege to meet and teach each and every one of you. Thank you!

--Elizabeth Collins

Who Is to Blame for Cheating on SATs?

2011-11-30T14:46:00.011-05:00

The recent Long Island SAT cheating scandal has people asking: is the SAT a fair assessment tool when it's apparent that people can pay smart kids to take the test for them?

That's a valid question.

See this article by my former prof, Nicolaus Mills. I read it on CNN today: http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/28/opinion/mills-cheating/index.html?hpt=op_t1

We've also been asking for a while: is it ethical to put so much emphasis on SAT scores when it's clear that students can be trained--at great expense--to perform well on this exam? Is the obvious correlation of familial wealth and high SAT scores just another example of the shimmering plutocracy and "might makes right" that reigns in the good old USA?

Poor kids, ones whose parents can't afford costly test prep and have to rely on getting adequate prep in high school (trust me: there is no time for this) don't usually have this same advantage. Therefore, rich and average students might have far higher scores than poor, more-intelligent kids. The rich kids will then gain admission to better colleges...so the cycle continues.

There are, however, regular kids whose parents will go the extra mile to find and pay for good test prep. Some parents will spend whatever they must to get their kids help. This is commendable, but it is a struggle. Not everyone's parents are so concerned or so selfless--and I don't think that families should have to go into debt just for the sake of the SAT. Even so, it would be nice if parents everywhere paid more attention to their kids' test scores, and worked to get them help (and not the cheating kind).

Another big question now is: should the economic disparity associated with SAT performance nullify its results? Some colleges think so, including my alma mater, Sarah Lawrence College. I agree in principle with SLC's recent decision not to consider the SAT because of this economic (and oftentimes racial) injustice, but I hate to see the college lose its USA Today ranking because of it. That actually bothers me quite a bit.

So what's the answer? Mills points out in his Op Ed that admissions staffs should be expanded in order to allow more attention to be paid to applications and the human beings behind them. I agree with this. He also calls for more interviewing of applicants. I agree with this, too (and I am always shocked when I hear from my students that they applied to 20 schools they've never even visited, and they rarely arranged interviews). I don't know if it will happen, especially at the big state schools, but it's a nice idea.

Getting back to the SAT, though, I personally think the exam needs a re-design. (Yes, I am aware that it just had one.) Even though I spend a great deal of time studying and teaching the SAT and showing my students how to get past its traps, I don't have much faith in the test as a realistic measure of academic ability--merely training.

Specifically, I see issues with the hard-to-grade essay section (and I'm a writer!) and the confusing "improving paragraphs" portion. I would rather see the return of analogies, substituted for some of the weird and nearly pointless, IMO, editing sections.

I don't want to shoot myself in the foot and call for the de-emphasis of the SAT (since I earn much of my living teaching it), but I would ideally like the exam to be more equitable, a more accurate measure of intelligence. This is how the SAT was originally conceived. I think the first idea was a good one: assess whether students have the native intelligence to succeed in college.

What happened to move the SAT away from its original purpose? A business empire built up around the exam, the books, and the test prep, while our society changed its expectations and now everyone has to go to college (and grad school).

Besides, it's just easier for the really big schools to assign a number to a student than to assess her or him as a human being with a complex history and talents that might not be apparent on a fill-in-the-bubble test.

It's also easy to pay others to take the test in your place. Despite the ID requirement, people who can afford to pay a test-taker can also pay for fake documents. It happens all the time.

Of course, it's unethical to take the test for someone else. It's also highly unethical to ask and pay someone to be a fake test-taker.

Notice that in the Long Island scandal, the people who are in serious trouble are the students who took the SAT for others. They are facing jail time, fines, expulsion from college, and more.

What about the people who paid them? Why are the worker bees (the ones paid to take the test for others) the ones shouldering the blame and the punishment? These people obviously needed the money. Why is our legal system going after them? I see the test-taking students here as victims who were taken advantage of by ruthless types who had enough coin to get around the system.

I'd like to see some news focusing on the people who pay others to take the SAT for them. Obviously, some parents had to give their kids thousands of dollars to pay others to take the SAT in their place. It seems sort of strange that we're not reading stories about that.

Those thousands of dollars could surely have been better spent.

On test prep.

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Jumped, Then Muzzled. Familiar?

2011-11-27T08:22:00.007-05:00

An unsuspecting, pretty young woman gets tackled from behind and dragged to the ground. She shakes it off and smiles brilliantly. So cool under pressure. Then she dares to post two adorable, self-deprecating tweets about the incident.

[Dallas Cowboys vs. Miami Dolphins, November 24, 2011. Cowboys cheerleader Melissa Kellerman tackled by TE Jason Witten.]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2066343/Jason-Witten-cheerleader-tackle-video-265lb-NFL-player-tackles-Cowboys-cheerleader.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

The next thing you know, she's been muzzled. It turns out, something weird can happen to you out of the blue, but if you dare to talk about it intelligently, certain people might threaten your job and force you into silence.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Cowboys-cheerleader-knocked-over-by-Witten-force?urn=nfl-wp12519

Why, Cowboys? You hired a capable, attractive young woman (Melissa Kellerman) who has been working for you for years now (four years is a long time in cheerleading) and knows how to write about her experiences (in 140 characters, no less) in a way that actually makes you look good.

So you silence her. What for?

I saw this incident unfold in real time, which is unusual because I generally don't watch football (it bores the hell out of me, and I can't stand how long it takes and how it stops and starts incessantly, and how even the best plays are over in three seconds), but my father wanted to see the Cowboys-Dolphins game on Thanksgiving.

Three hours or so into this seemingly interminable game, Kellerman was on the sidelines, back to the field, just doing her cheerleader thing when TE Jason Witten careened out of bounds. For some reason, he grabbed her as he did so, pulling her to the ground and landing on top of her.

Why this happened, I have no idea. Did Witten think he'd keep his balance if he took her with him? The whole thing was so strange, such a freak occurrence.

I felt bad for the cheerleader, but she seemed delighted, or at least acted that way, laughing it off on the jumbotron.

There must have been thousands of people (fans, followers, friends, reporters) asking her about the incident, so she tweeted sweetly:

The next thing you know, her Twitter account has gone bye-bye.

This bothers me for a few important reasons:

1. I do not care for the muzzling of people who dare to write about their own lives.

2. I worry that this is another example of the Man paying a young woman a crappy salary for a high profile job, and then trying to control her in every way.

3. It also seems to be a perpetuation of the sexist mandate that women should just stand there and look pretty, and not actually use their brains or think for themselves.

Kellerman apparently plans to become a teacher next...and it's just going to get worse, I fear. Who is more muzzled than a teacher?

I am also very tired of people getting in trouble for using social media. Contemporary culture is such that we live and experience things and then we write/post about them. We share them. We connect to other people in this manner (an important detail, considering that people are more cut off from each other than ever before, it seems). I want to see more acceptance of the idea that people can reflect and share.

How long is it going to take before people stop attacking and threatening others for daring to discuss their own lives? Why should anyone get in trouble when they were just writing about what happened? It makes no sense to me.

In the meantime, I wish Melissa Kellerman good luck and quick healing. She appears to have won a big following of fans for the way she handled herself after the accidental tackle--and that is how it should be.

The Cowboys franchise, on the other hand, looks like a bunch of big, dumb oafs.

The Turkey Farm: Just Like a Horror Film

2011-11-21T11:18:00.008-05:00

Back when I was a reporter and Thanksgiving was coming up (full disclosure: it was still at least two weeks away; we worked in advance for the non-essentials), I was assigned the requisite trip to the local turkey farm.

"I really don't want to see a turkey slaughter," I objected. ("Animal lover" is my middle name.)

No slaughter, I was assured. Just get some nice photos of a sea of live white turkeys, their heads bobbing, looking pleasantly expectant; ask some questions about how many turkeys will be ordered and "dressed" this year, when customers should ideally order their Thanksgiving turkeys, etc.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images North AmericaWith less than one week before Thanksgiving, hundreds of turkeys standAn estimated forty-five million turkeys are cooked and eaten during annual Thanksgiving

I have interviewed some VIPs; I met and shook hands with and close-up photographed President Clinton. Could I write a fluff piece about turkeys? Hell to the yes. I just did not want to.

I don't really like turkey, and I can't remember when I did not feel guilty about the main dish of Thanksgiving (I still won't buy or cook turkey; I make my parents do that. One year, I "earned" a free turkey from the supermarket. I gave it away. We don't do turkey in this house.)

As it turned out, the professional photographer was coming to the turkey farm, so I could focus on writing the story and not worry about capturing the images. This was a partial relief.

We drove to the farm separately. I parked my car, and even through the air vents, I could smell something bad. It was the smell of death.

"Do you smell that?" the photographer asked me, crinkling his nose. I nodded; I certainly could, and in fact, the odor will haunt my dreams...for the rest of my life.

We walked past a pen where turkeys roamed freely. I was relieved to see they still had their heads.

Did they look "pleasantly expectant?" I can't say that they did. What I saw read more as abject terror.

Then, as we got closer to the barn, we heard the screaming. Turkey screaming. Axes were being used. Six axes at once. It was a freaking massacre.

"Don't look over there!" the photographer shouted at me (which of course made me look there).

A thick river of blood coursed down the dirt driveway. When I write, "thick river," it does not adequately describe how thick this river was.

That was it for me. No turkey story would be written this morning (I would get the interview by phone; even from 15 feet away, the farmer stank so bad of blood and guts, and his overalls were so slimy that I could not deal).

"Then all I saw of Collins was the dust churned up by her silver Saab," the photographer (who was equally traumatized but could laugh about all this) later said back in the newsroom.

If you learn anything from this, it is: Do not visit a turkey farm before Thanksgiving or any other holiday when people traditionally eat turkey.

Sarah Palin once gave an interview at a turkey farm, right before Thanksgiving. She was officially pardoning a turkey, back when she was governor of Alaska. Then came the post-presidential-election interview questions. Palin blithely smiled and prattled on in her folksy twang as a man dispassionately beheaded and bled turkeys right behind her.

The executioner kept looking around as if he couldn't believe she would have chosen that spot for an on-camera interview. How could she not know what was happening? No matter what you think of Palin, and I don't have the highest views, it came across as either callous or unbelievably stupid.

You know what? That Sarah Palin turkey video is so crazy, I am going to repost it. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJd_vm9VhpU

I would add now: Maybe don't eat turkey, but people tend to get pissed at me when I suggest vegetarianism. I don't have many other ideas for how to get around the Thanksgiving conundrum besides, "Cook some great side dishes; take the focus off meat." (Or, as Palin put it at the pardon, "Find nourishment elsewhere." This may be the smartest thing I've ever heard her read.)

"What about protein?!" people always ask then, as if humans will literally drop dead if we don't eat big slabs of meat at least twice a day.

Digression: we do not need nearly as much protein as we think we do, and besides, there are plenty of other non-flesh sources. But do what you want to do; I am not trying to tell anyone else how to live.

Have a happy Thanksgiving, and if you're so inclined, please pardon a turkey.

Shakespeare for Everybody! Starting Young for Best Results

2011-11-13T19:28:00.009-05:00

I am of two minds about Shakespeare: I love Shakespeare, and I'm over Shakespeare.

During my own high school years, I got almost nothing but Shakespeare (and Hemingway), as if no other authors existed. I had so much Shakespeare that I did not know what else I could write about on my AP English Lit exam.

[Back in 1989, we had a doozy of an open question on the AP English Literature exam. Go look it up, if you're so inclined. It's the hardest prompt you ever saw, right? I thought so. Just for kicks, compare that prompt to one from three years ago. Notice the dumbing down; it would be funny if it weren't so sad.]

Since we had only read Shakespeare in my senior year AP English class, I wrote about King Lear in response. (It was a stretch.) I thought I had failed; I got a 5--but God knows why. Maybe because I deeply knew King Lear...but that doesn't mean that I would not have appreciated variety in our reading.

As an English teacher, I have taught many works of Shakespeare (and King Lear remains my favorite), but even though I think the themes of Shakespeare's plays are perennially important, and his use of language and imagery impressive, I don't think Will S. is the end-all, be-all.

I once had a supervisor who wanted to know which works of Shakespeare were covered each year in high school English ("a Shakespeare a year" seemed to the prescription under which this admin was operating. I guess that this is old school; needless to say, I don't believe in blanket prescriptions for curricula, and I DO believe in flexibility).

I had to explain that I don't teach Shakespeare in AMERICAN Literature...since Shakespeare was not American. To make up for it, though, I taught two works of the bard in senior year. I would have loved to assign Atonement or Middlesex, instead.

Because that made sense, I was left alone to teach as I see fit.

I am all for varying the reading lists: I find that high school students will turn off reading if the reading feels as if it needs translation, and if they can't see parallels with their own experience. This is why I mix it up and make sure I don't overdo a genre or an author (I also cruise when I teach--meaning, I never spend months on one book or one topic. Not only do I personally find that boring, but it keeps my students more lively, too).

Having said all that, I recently corresponded with a teacher who has some very good ideas about teaching Shakespeare to younger children. I love this; I think it's the messages in Shakespeare that are of the most use to contemporary students, and if we can pique students' interest in Shakespeare when young, then it will become that much easier to engage them and effectively teach other works of Shakespeare later. Classes will be more productive and run faster (which means we can teach MORE!).

Here then, from guest writer and teacher Elaine Hirsch: Teaching Shakespeare to Young Children

William Shakespeare is known for his complex plays, literary genius, and exposing things about humanity that are not the prettiest or most appealing. Most adults have been exposed to Shakespeare at least once in their lives, likely during high school or college, yet a far smaller percentage can say that they were introduced to his works as a young child. Furthermore, master's degree candidates devote their entire studies to Shakespearean texts. Despite the complexity of the language and the dark themes prevalent throughout most of his work, Shakespeare's plays can resonate with a young child and early introduction to it can help them more easily process and interpret these stories as they encounter it throughout their education and beyond.

Here are a few ways to make Shakespeare easier for young children (and even adults as well) to understand and interpret.

1) Modernize the stories. A lot of the language in the books can fly over the heads of adults, let alone young children, so it's best to simplify the outdated language and paraphrase it into something more contemporary. If children are reading the story themselves, each section of the book should be read aloud in a group with the teacher present to elaborate for those who might be confused. If they are being read the work aloud by the educator and do not need to read themselves, it can be easier to use Cliffsnotes/SparkNotes or help students better understand the text and context. There are also many websites that provide links to kid-friendly remakes of these classic plays. Finally, complex expressions should be removed if they do not greatly impact the main storyline.

2) Focus on the main story and try not to get too bogged down in the details of smaller, less important side stories. Shakespeare is known for running several themes throughout his works at once, and it's less overwhelming for a child if you focus on the main theme until it's understood. Then, depending on what else there is to cover, you can explore side themes as needed.

3) Use other forms of media to help children visualize what is happening in the story. Find age-appropriate movies or cartoons that are based loosely off the stories being taught. 'The Lion King' can be used for 'Hamlet' and 'High School Musical' is also a great movie to use to talk about Shakespeare, due to the 'Romeo and Juliet' theme prevalent through the movie. Another great idea is to find a kid-friendly play that is locally produced and take a field trip.

4) Tone down the controversial topics. Shakespeare is notorious for having dark themes in his writing, such as suicide, murder, violence, etc. While some of these themes are hugely important to the storyline, it's best to try to either choose stories with less obvious expressions of these themes or to dumb down the dark themes by slight modification of the 'truth' in the story to something more age-appropriate.

--Elaine Hirsch

I appreciate Elaine's ideas about teaching Shakespeare and making his work accessible to kids. I especially agree with finding connections to other novels and films and plays. For example, kids never seem to tire of discussing The Taming of the Shrew as compared to Ten Things I Hate About You. They also love to talk about why works of Shakespeare tend to be set in new locales and times (sometimes this works and sometimes it's ridiculous...but it's all good when it comes to having a productive class and getting students to articulate ideas about literature and drama!).

So, whether you have to teach Shakespeare or you want to teach Shakespeare (or both), it's all about finding ways to make Shakespeare sing for your students--whatever their age.

PSU and the Evil Within Its Walls: Blowing the Whistle, Following Up

2011-11-10T09:57:00.005-05:00

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)

This is international news right now: Penn State University had a boy-raping scandal that came to certain people's attention more than a decade ago...and little was done. Nothing was said. All that dirty business was basically brushed aside.

People are shocked by this--shocked by the cover up, shocked by the many years that passed while PSU admin knew rapes were happening in a locker room and no substantial legal action was taken.

I wonder: How many people, if they saw a 10 year old (or younger) boy taking it up the rear in the showers of a college locker room, would honestly say or do nothing? I hope no one would remain silent and impassive after witnessing that. Because the rape of child is an appalling image--and an even worse reality.

Someone at PSU said something, but only after thinking about it and waiting. The whistle blower was reportedly terrified to speak, and to a certain extent, that is understandable (and yet, in the case of abuse of a child, it is not). Obviously, the witness worried that he would lose his job for daring to report what he saw. The man knocking at the boy's back door, after all, was a really important football coach.

I say, who cares how powerful or rich or important the rapist (or any evil-doer) was? What he did was wrong. It needed to stop.

Yet, in every case like this, a balance has to be reached: Standing up for the powerless while hoping to protect oneself.

This man who initially spoke up tried to do the right thing. Whistle blowers tend to have it rough, but it doesn't mean that a moral person, a good person, can stay quiet when he or she witnesses evil. Morality doesn't work that way, and just because something is hard to do doesn't mean it shouldn't be done.

Later, a much more powerful person, or as some reports have it, "the most powerful man in the state of Pennsylvania" (Joe Paterno) tried to do the right thing by reporting the sex crimes. Except that he was too vague and said the assistant coach was "doing something of a sexual nature."

Is anal rape "something," or is it "anal rape?" Let's be clear about our terminology...words do make a difference!

Problem is, Paterno didn't report the "something" to the right people (police). He just mentioned it to one or two PSU admin. He also didn't follow up to see if anything had been done--although I could see why he might assume that if HE said something, action would be taken. It wasn't.

http://www.philly.com/philly/columnists/karen_heller/20111109_Karen_Heller__At_Penn_State__football_is_more_important_than_morality_and_the_law.html

The question is why no substantial action was taken, but I think we can all agree that it boils down to the university wanting to avoid a huge scandal such as this one, while also protecting the millions made annually by the football department. So the hell continued.

I have written extensively on the idea that passive witnesses to evil are also complicit in evil (and thus, evil themselves). This is a psychological and philosophical truism. Still, despite "evil" being in the news constantly, little changes.

Is that because of apathy, or human nature, or fiscal concerns? Personally, I say it's all about the money. It always is.

Teachers are attacked all the time--as I was--and no one says jack to help them. Other teachers, no less, stay silent because they want to protect their own butts (it's really about protecting their paychecks).

Administrators are duty-bound to help both sides--an impossible situation--and end up doing nothing, or the wrong thing. Again, it's all in the name of money (donations and tuition and personal paychecks).

Now in the news, PSU's admin and big shots are dropping like flies and getting fired because of the scandal. Is canning everyone the solution? I don't know. What I do know is that when evil is witnessed, people need to speak up. It's not easy to do so, but it is the right thing to do.

When people DON'T speak up, they need to be called out for it. Will that change their behavior for the next time they see something bad happening to someone? God only knows, but God (and good) has nothing to do with money.

Here's another interesting take on the situation: http://health.yahoo.net/experts/menshealth/why-joe-paterno-did-nothing

And try this: http://caffertyfile.blogs.cnn.com/2011/11/10/how-can-penn-state-university-restore-its-reputation/?hpt=hp_t3

What I Learned from Andy Rooney

2011-11-05T10:37:00.004-04:00

AP file photo, 2009

Oh, Andy Rooney. You have just died, and while it is natural to die, it seems fitting, somehow, that you died one month after retiring at age 92. I still feel bad that you died (almost as if you died because you lost your purpose). The fact that you lived and worked so long doesn't make your ending that much easier for your family or your most devoted fans.

I understand your desire to keep going until the end. I understand that writers never retire (or want to retire). I understand your mission--telling the truth--and I share it. It's a writer thing.

I am not sure how much you changed the world, Andy. I hate to say that I thought your writing was highly over-rated. At times, you could even come across as a jerk (but the curmudgeon act might have been just that). I thought at times you were brilliant and other times you were boring.

http://news.yahoo.com/former-60-minutes-commentator-andy-rooney-dies-111209786.html

For the last decade or so, whenever I caught 60 Minutes, I'd think, "He's still there?" and "Why?" Now, I feel mean for thinking that, but I had honestly stopped seeing the point of your broadcast essays.

What I admire is the way you kept working and building up a body of words, some of them remarkable, some of them not. I admire the way you didn't even need to finish college and yet had a long, illustrious career in network news (for which I am sure you were paid lavishly) and several homes.

The world has changed: my generation saw your shining example of an easy, decades-long, highly-remunerated career and most of us will not be able to have any of it. At least you knew you were, as you put it, "lucky."

I do know you had hard times. As every writer is (now and then), you were attacked for having and daring to share opinions. You were even--gasp!--suspended without pay for things people thought you said (but I doubt you did).

From the AP article linked above ," [Rooney] said he probably hadn't said anything on "60 Minutes" that most of his viewers didn't already know or hadn't thought. "That's what a writer does," he said. "A writer's job is to tell the truth."

People are ridiculous. You knew that. I know it. People will freak out on a writer who dares to admit to an opinion--and I'm not talking about mean writers, such as the ones seen in the right-wing papers. They know who they are. They are simply out to cause division and trouble; they like the negative attention.

You, though, you just told it like it is, and people can't even deal with that. They'd rather someone rip apart the character of another than expound, as you did, on minutiae, such as what's silly or poorly made.

Rest in peace, Andy. Despite my occasional lack of appreciation, your example taught me much.

Political Evil: It's Not What You Think (But Cheney IS Evil)

2011-10-27T11:40:00.000-04:00

This morning, I heard a fascinating interview with Alan Wolfe, Boston College professor and author of the new book, Political Evil: What It Is and How to Combat It.

Wolfe discusses morality, genocide, American involvement (or lack thereof) in foreign wars, and the niggling question that bothers all progressives: shouldn't there have been a war crimes trial for George W. Bush and Cheney? And, did their extreme actions post-9/11 make things better, or worse?

Wolfe answers these questions and does so bravely--no typical equivocating or apologizing for having strong views.

If only we could see more honest writing of this sort! In the meantime, I'm reading Wolfe's book and urge others to do the same.

For more on Political Evil, read:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/09/books/review/political-evil-by-alan-wolfe-book-review.html?_r=1&ref=alanwolfe

Psstt...The PSATs Count; Take Them Seriously!

2011-10-11T10:20:00.005-04:00

As a teacher and a test prep tutor, let me just admit to one thing that really burns my ass: the PSATs are typically not emphasized by either schools or most teachers of sophomores and juniors.

Instead, innocent students entering their all-important junior year (the primary year of high school that I taught, and my favorite age student) are thrown into the lion's den after being told at the last minute, "The PSAT doesn't really count; don't worry about it!"

Then they totally freak out when they get their (usually rather bad) PSAT scores.

Why are teachers and/or admin failing to mention the PSAT until a week or so before the test, and then brushing it off as no big deal?

Are we as a society too afraid of putting pressure on our kids?

Are we feeling guilty or remiss that there hasn't, realistically, been time to cover PSAT prep in an already jam-packed English curriculum?

A little pressure on our kids can actually be a good thing, and I speak from the wide experience of having many students and tutees whose parents demand absolute perfection..."absolute" is a bit much, I agree, but striving for a top score is not a foolhardy past-time.

I have personally seen kids who do not even speak English study for two years, master the language, and then ace the Verbal SAT, so I know that anything can be done. Anything. Nothing is impossible; it just takes work.

I have also seen some alarmingly poor PSAT scores in native English speakers and heretofore decent students.

I have seen entire families shocked to realize that no one ever told them that the PSAT (despite the P standing for Preliminary) is pretty important. No, it doesn't count for college admission, but it does count quite a bit for courting colleges' interest.

One good thing about the harsh truth of low PSAT scores is that then people are motivated to really prepare for the SAT, and they still have a good year to get serious.

Here's the bad thing: what isn't often mentioned is the fact that the PSAT--a excellent chance to win a National Merit or other scholarship and score brownie points with colleges, and a great opportunity to truly test how prepared a student is for the SAT--has been wasted. Not only that, but what has also been ignored is the fact that good PSAT scores basically guarantee stellar SAT performance, so by preparing for the PSAT, students would be way ahead of the game. (We have to start early in order to master the tested skills and the all-important vocab and strategy.)

So, what's the solution? Is it more in-class test prep and more teaching to the test? No.

As a teacher, I understand that there is not much time in the high school English class day to do PSAT prep in addition to the myriad other important tasks (Novel reading! Essay writing! Notice that both the reading and writing done in English is absolutely essential to the PSAT or any other standardized test) that must be accomplished.

The only solution is for kids to get hardcore PSAT preparation on the outside; families will have to take the initiative to seek out PSAT courses or tutoring for their kids...and in the meantime, the other way that people can help themselves is by realizing that kids need to read as much as possible in order to ensure verbal exam success.

I have written before that wide reading is honestly what separates the superior students/thinkers/test-takers from the average ones. Reading starts at basically birth...we have to read to our kids every day (I typically read about an hour to my kids...and I still do! Reading never ends) in order to get them interested in words and books. Kids also need to read because it's an activity that exercises their brains.

So read more. Seek out PSAT prep and don't blame English teachers--except for the fact that they may not have warned you to take the PSAT seriously. I do not pretend to understand why this is, but maybe they are busy; maybe they think your PSAT is just a benchmark...still, there is no excuse not to do the best that you can, so get ready to do your best. It is really up to YOU, the student.

Remember, the PSAT is a big deal; please study hard!

The Line Between Good and Evil; Making Choices to be Heroic

2011-10-07T22:40:00.005-04:00

M.C. Escher, Angels and Devils

A major theme of the book I've just written (the one that will be out very soon) is evil vs. good. That sounds ominous and creepy, I know.

So let me explain: I was inspired a while ago by a famous TED talk that social psychologist Philip Zimbardo gave in 2008: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsFEV35tWsg

In this talk, Zimbardo defines evil as the exercise of power to intentionally hurt people physically and/or mortally, to destroy people psychologically...and to commit crimes against humanity.

To me, this was spot on. It made me realize (not that I hadn't quite realized it before) that I had recently been affected by precisely this type of evil, by the use of power against largely powerless me (just a teacher) with the clear and relentless intention to hurt me--both in terms of my livelihood and psychologically.

The intention to hurt others (not accidental hurt; purposeful hurt) can only be described as evil. "Evil" sounds like a harsh word, but there is no other classification that fits. In fact, intentional, planned murder is first degree murder, the most heinous crime, and the one that comes with the stiffest penalty.

What I noticed in Zimbardo's talk is that he classifies watching evil being done to others, while sitting back passively and not saying or doing anything to stop it, as evil, too. It may not be the same severity of evil, but it is on the scale of evil nonetheless.

My college classes have recently been discussing good vs. evil, and several students remarked on the fact that people may not take action against evil because they are simply shocked.

This is true. Should we blame the shocked, passive witnesses to evil for the fact that they were stunned by what they saw? I don't think so (it only takes one person to try to stop the act of evil; it doesn't take everyone).

What about the cowards who say nothing because they fear reprisal, or difficulties if they get involved? That's another classic human response: to simply stay out of it.

Is saying nothing evil? It certainly can be. I do think that shutting up and letting someone get attacked is on the bad side of behavior, but I have empathy for people who are scared or worried about themselves or their own families (still, we should hope that someone out there is not a coward, shouldn't we?).

As I told my classes, when I was just a kid I stopped a bully from beating up a little boy. That act of bravery (or stupidity) then cost me four long years of being the bully's new victim. This guy used to chase me all over the place and once threatened to put firecrackers in my mouth.

Would I stand up to a bully like this again? I will be honest: I have had plenty of moments where I thought, "Life would have been much easier if I had not done that."

And yet, it is in my nature to speak out against even small acts of evil. It is who I am, and my humanity rises up, and I think: I can't let this happen to someone else; I just can't. So I speak out.

That's in my book. My memoir, Too Cool for School, is about my teaching, but it's also about blowing the whistle on evil. It's about daring to stand up for my values and intention and style and politics.

Anyone else who was there and who didn't dare to speak up to stop the attack on me, I cannot blame you...and yet, I do. I feel somewhat bad about this--it is very, very difficult to forgive and forget, because the truth is that I shouldn't have had to bear all the pressure by myself.

I know it's hard to stand up for others, though. I know it's scary. But just because it's difficult doesn't mean--in my opinion--it shouldn't be done. After all, letting evil happen to others and not trying to stop it only ensures that the same type of evil attack will eventually come for you...and who will be there to help you when you need it? Probably no one.

So--as I am often asked now--was it worth it? I say: if my story keeps someone else from experiencing a similar attack, then yes. If my story helps to prevent unwarranted persecution of other teachers, and if it sends a strong message to people who intentionally try to hurt others (or those in positions of leadership who sit back and let people such as myself get hurt), then yes: I did my job.

We all have to do our jobs, and a big part of the job of being alive is looking out for other people, and not standing by mutely when someone else is getting hurt. Another part is not intentionally hurting other people...

If we can do those very basic things, then no one can ever say that we are evil. Even if good and bad resides in all of us, and even if we are each only a hair's breadth away from using our power (in any situation) to commit an act of evil.

Aspiring Teacher With Good Teaching Ideas: How to use Wordle

2011-09-27T13:51:00.003-04:00

A little while ago, I was approached with the question of whether or not I allow guest writers on my blog. I have no rule about this, either for or against. It never occurred to me before. But why not?

What would you like to write about? I asked my e-mailing acquaintance. (I just didn't want anything that smacked of an ad. I cannot deal with ads sometimes).

The answer was: Wordle--and how it can be used in teaching.

Now, some of us know Wordle (http://www.wordle.net) as the word cloud "toy" that we can use to generate pretty collages of words, just for the fun of it. You just paste in some of your text, and Wordle will generate an image of the most frequently used words. If this looks cool to you, you can make it look cooler by changing the colors, fonts, etc.

Sample Word Cloud by Adilene, on WW2, viewable in Wordle.net Gallery

I never saw much point in Wordle...even though it's mildly amusing and fun to look at...until now.

My guest blogger, Natalie Hunter (aspiring teacher and a blogger for onlineschools.org), has written about using Wordle in the classroom as a way to help students self-edit--among other uses. I think this is great. Natalie is pretty sure that others have also realized that Wordle can be used for self assessment, but you know what? For those who don't know it, you need to read this. It can help students with their writing; it can also help teachers by providing some interesting and relevant new lessons about writing and reading.

One of the big problems the inexperienced writer often has is recycling (repeating!) the same words in an essay. Teachers hate this. No, they really hate it.

If I had a dime for every time I've written, "Word/phrase repetition; avoid this! Read aloud to catch this problem. Self-edit!" in the margin of an essay, I'd be able to pay for that new digital SLR camera I really want but won't allow myself to have.

Anyway: here is Natalie Hunter singing the praises of Wordle. Give this tool a try and help your students--or help yourself--learn how to self-edit and improve your writing.

Using Wordle as a Self-Assessment Tool

Wordle is a tool that can help improve students’ written communication skills. Educators and students have begun to use this application in a variety of ways that cannot only add creativity to learning, but can also provide a way to assess writing and comprehension skills.

Wordle is a multipurpose tool that is especially effective in educational assessments. Here is a list of ways that Wordle can help any student, whether they're in schools online or in traditional education, evaluate and improve their skills:

1. Determines Focus: By uploading an essay into Wordle, students and teachers can evaluate the focus of the writing by observing the frequently used words. If the paper is to be about life science, the largest key terms should be strongly related to the topic.

2. Improves Writing Style: In writing, there are words that are often overused, too vague, or misused. By running a work through Wordle, students and teachers can spot these words and take action in addressing the issue.

3. Aids in Editing: It is often difficult to go back over a written work and assess it honestly. By putting it into a new and unfamiliar format such as a Wordle word cloud, it is easier to look over and figure out any general issues that you should address in the work itself.

4. Evaluate Summarizing Skills: Use Wordle to enter the first chapter of an upcoming reading and have students brainstorm about the idea behind the book, using the key words, can help to develop critical thinking skills.

Wordle is not the only web utility that works in this way. There are other programs that serve a similar function.

Word Clouds for Kids, for example, is an easy to use word cloud program designed specifically for kids that allows users to change the fonts and colors to create a cloud that is just as visually pleasing as Wordle.

Word Sift uses the same concept as Wordle, but also gives options for sorting words alphabetically or by common usage.

The way we write tells a lot about who we are. It conveys how we think, our level of intelligence, and our professionalism as well as our capabilities and understanding regarding a given subject. Superior writing skills are helpful in almost any field, and Wordle can be quite effective in improving these skills for students of all ages. –Natalie Hunter

Mind-Blowing Find of the Day: I am Mentioned in a Law Textbook

2011-09-23T10:06:00.005-04:00

I had been wondering why I kept seeing my name linked with Ethics in Google searches. Silly me, I thought it might be because I am teaching a segment on Ethics in my college courses.

No, it's because my story is--unbeknownst to me, until now--a research exercise in a law textbook.

This blew my mind (and freaked me out). Initially, I felt annoyed because I could see that some of the same factual errors about me and my situation had been repeated in the textbook--taken from misleading press that failed to tell the full, or true, story.

I did not lose a teaching job because I blog. That was not the reason. The reason was, as often happens in At-Will Employment situations, there was no reason; I was a highly respected teacher with stacks of glowing evaluations. My ouster was forced because of months of threats--legal and physical--abject harassment, and unbelievable pressure.

What happened to me was appalling; I sincerely hope it never happens to anyone else, and I am doing my part to ensure that it doesn't (hey, that's called having ethics; I always operate from the position of, "Will what I am doing/writing/saying be helpful or hurtful?" My aim is always to help people become deeper and more articulate thinkers. My purpose is to help make my students smarter people).

Because I was so shocked to see my name and story mentioned in a law textbook (and to see that apparently law students were starting research on me), I spoke to one of the authors of this text. I was grateful to realize that she seemed to understand the true issues at play here: Freedom of Speech and whether or not it is ethical to use one's money/power to bully others into doing one's bidding. (We both agree that it is not, and yet, this happens constantly, particularly in politics.) She explained that the purpose in mentioning my case is to steer students of the law to consider the broader issues.

Should a teacher with only the best intentions to broaden minds and develop students' writing skills be attacked because she dares to write about her teaching (using no names, and no context, mind you)?

When the question of Ethics comes up in regard to what happened to me, I want people to understand that 1) it IS ethical for teachers to write about their practice. This is called reflection; it is a useful exercise that helps not only the teacher in question but also other teachers who read and share. The purpose of reflection is for me to help myself become a better teacher while also helping others do the same. 2) it is NOT ethical to threaten teachers (particularly in the heinous ways that I was threatened) over the most minor and unintentional slights and relentlessly demand their firing; and 3) it is NOT ethical to try to pay off the threatened teacher and coerce her into never speaking about what happened.

I spoke about what happened (and I've written about it in my upcoming memoir, Too Cool for School) because I am not a sheepish doormat. I blew the whistle because I want my story to set a precedent. If this is out there for public consumption, then maybe other teachers will not be similarly attacked. After all, it's in the history books (of sorts) now; no one can get away with this sort of thing--or so I hope--ever again.

(Now, many thousands of people understand that teachers generally have pure intentions, and that administrators should not let themselves be bullied into doing the wrong thing--wrong from an ethical standpoint, and wrong for a school's students.)

My memoir will be out soon. Also coming up is The Beautiful Anthology, a creative writing collection I edited (and contributed to) that will be published this spring by TNB Books.

For any law students doing the required research: Yes, I am still blogging (obviously); and yes, I am still teaching. I have written many words that might be useful for your Ethics research.

Happy studying.

Fathermucker: Pick it Up Soon!

2011-09-05T11:14:00.001-04:00

Here is my latest author profile piece on Bookslut, focused on author Greg Olear and his new novel, Fathermucker (you can buy it in October or pre-order on Amazon now).

http://www.bookslut.com/features/2011_09_018080.php

We're talking James Joyce, stay-at-home parenting, keeping up with the Kardashians and cursing around the kids. Don't miss it!

What the Koch Brothers are Doing to Kill Public Ed

2011-08-22T06:05:00.009-04:00

Some days, I am just so inspired by other people taking the initiative to tell the truth, to get the word out, and to embolden others to resist the tyranny that oftentimes surrounds us.

See this great blog:

http://edjustice.blogspot.com/

Specifically, click on the August 15, 2011 posting, which is a YouTube video about what the Koch Brothers are trying to do--via the "Americans for Prosperity" organization they fund--to public schools in Raleigh.

kochbrothersexposed.com

You next job? Resist. Signal your alarm and your displeasure. The Kochs aren't running for anything, but they do control many politicians and even school board members. They are "Libertarian" (I don't agree with Libertarianism, for the most part, but some members of this party seem relatively innocuous...definitely not the Kochs, however).

However you are inclined to vote, first always follow the money trail and dig for the true agenda.

Ask: what are these people doing with their power? Are they trying to change the world for good...or for the sake of their own money-making? Will this agenda help me, or hurt me and others?

Billionaires don't need more money and power. But people everywhere do need a strong, equitable, fully-funded system for public education. That is, in fact, a cornerstone of our democracy.

Don't let any people, no matter how rich and scary they are, try to bully their way into controlling education for the masses.

Big Lobster Stories: Always Favorites

2011-08-19T09:10:00.002-04:00

Jennifer Vargas holds up a freakishly large lobster that was saved from the kitchen. (Wildlife Conservation Society).

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/new-york/giant-lobster-avoids-becoming-lunch-finds-home-coney-113515858.html

I love stories about animals being saved from slaughter. Speaking of this, I once saw a huge lobster when I was a reporter...and I wrote a story about it.

It, too, was saved--and it weighed in at a slightly larger 20 lbs (and looked pretty much the same as this one). I mention that not for the sake of one-upmanship, but only to emphasize that Big Lobster Stories are perpetual favorites and never cease to amaze.

Just think of how much garbage such a large creature has eaten during its lifetime...that makes lobster just a bit less appetizing, hmm?

Good luck, lobster. After 75 years of avoiding traps and nets, you deserve a break.

When You Write About Your Problems, You Control Them

2011-08-17T11:25:00.000-04:00

Here are some wise words on leading writing workshops by Marion Winik of the University of Baltimore. I saw this piece because of my writer friend, Jessica Anya Blau (via Twitter).

http://www.baltimorefishbowl.com/stories/true-confessions-a-writing-workshop-confidential/

I am a writing teacher, too, and I've lived through some traumatic workshops back in Iowa (traumatic in a good way), and this is a classic essay about the experience. I love how Winik shows how helpful and scary leading a workshop can be...and in light of the "too-much-coddling" we often see in schools, I think the workshop experience is useful and enlightening, if sometimes difficult.

For more on teaching writing, see the film "Wonder Boys"--this is also a novel by Michael Chabon, but I think the film does more to illustrate teaching writing, even though I do love the book.

Don't Photograph Michele Bachmann in Casuals, But DO Snap Her Eating a Corn Dog

2011-08-14T15:37:00.016-04:00

I am not a Michele Bachmann fan. I'll just put that out there (the astute reader could surely infer as much). This has nothing to do with her gender, which I share, but instead has everything to do with her ideology. I could not disagree more with Michele Bachmann...on just about any issue. I don't want to get wonky, now, though. I want to focus on the subject of image.

As someone who knows PR, I had been impressed with Bachmann's carefully coiffed domination of the media and her meticulously manicured appearance (although I thought the recent Newsweek cover shot was pretty funny. Yes, it was a bad photo of The Candidate, but then again, as the saying goes, "The eyes have it," and her eyes--more than most people's--are saying "crazy," so it works).

Speaking of Newsweek, the article that just ran this past week (about Bachmann) mentioned her handlers' decree to the journalists who follow her: "Do not photograph Michele Bachmann in casual clothes." Like, ever.

They agreed, and never shot Bachmann in the cargo pants she wore on her plane.

Bachmann and her campaign have this rule for the media..and yet...and yet...Michelle Bachmann enthusiastically posed for a phalanx of photogs chomping a foot-long corn dog.

It looked disgusting--and not just because of the sleazy sexual innuendo (which, to be fair, she may not even understand).

Take a look. I'd post the photo, too, but it's really grotesque. (Well, you could have taken a look earlier, but now it seems the infamous corn dog photo has disappeared. Hmmm. Anyway, it came from this site:)

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/tobyharnden/100100848/fried-food-and-retail-politics-at-the-iowa-state-fair/

Bad, huh?

It's so bad that I actually feel pity for Bachmann. This pity will not keep me from discussing the photo, however, because there is an important lesson for humanity here.

The lesson is this: Don't be stupid.

This corn dog photo wasn't a "gotcha" shot. There is proof that Bachmann did this on purpose. The whole eating-a-corn-dog-in-Iowa scene was a photo op. She wanted it documented--I suppose because her people think it makes her look fun and non-elitist. (Hint: Michele, get new people. Either they know nothing, or they wanted to make you look bad.)

Here's the same scene from the side: http://bit.ly/re5tcL - does it look like she didn't know she might be photographed eating a corn dog? (comment on DT article)

Bachmann happily bit into a very long corn dog, in front of dozens of paparazzi and international media. And yet I recently handed back the chocolate-covered banana I considered buying at the pool snack bar because I was paranoid, once I saw it, that it might look untoward to put that in my mouth in public. (You know, smartphones are everywhere; everything ends up online--even if no one knows who I am. I still am not going to go there.) It's called having sense.

So, think about what these pictures of Bachmann tell you. Consider the questions they are begging--namely, "Is this the person you want leading the United States? Does she look dignified? Does she show good judgment?"

It looks nearly as bad when her husband, Marcus, takes a bite. At least he was smart enough not to open wide.

The rule for Bachmann apparently is: no shots of casual ensembles, but YES for the foot-long-corn-dog-eating photos.

Hmmm. Something's amiss...I think it's Bachmann's judgment.

Matt Damon Decries "MBA-Style Education Policy"

2011-08-02T21:54:00.004-04:00

Among several reasons (none having to do with his appearance--seriously--not that there is anything wrong with the way he looks) why I like Matt Damon is that he is unafraid to enter the fray and tell people when and how they are being stupid.

Check out this clip of Damon being interviewed. It was filmed by the vomitrociously-named "Reason TV" at last weekend's "Save Our Schools" march in D.C., and is being covered again by Yahoo.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/actor-matt-damon-defends-teacher-tenure-testy-exchange-211042801.html

I love the look of disbelief Damon gives the Libertarian "journalist" who challenges why teachers should get tenure. Even better, I like his responses. Why do teachers put up with the "shitty pay" and long, long hours? Because it's their calling.

Does that mean everyone should put up with those conditions? Um, no.

And yet, teachers put up with that and so much more, and keep having to defend their profession against loudmouths who know nothing about what it's really like to teach.

The only way to stop the mindless blather of people with loud opinions who have no basis in fact for those opinions is to speak up and speak over them. I wish more people spoke the truth, as Damon does here, in defense of teachers (like his mom).

Here's the SAME CLIP, just interspersed with more interesting commentary by Anderson Cooper, getting all funny in his "Ridiculist."

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2011/08/02/exp.AC.Ridiculist.MattDamon.cnn

You Can't Run a School Like a Business. It Doesn't Work.

2011-07-31T07:42:00.009-04:00

Thanks to Angie Villa, author of http://angievillaartwork.blogspot.com

for posting this button on her blog...where I just saw it. I wholeheartedly agree with what Angie says and writes about reforming American education away from an inappropriate corporate model!

I recently heard that a principal declared, "We're going to run this school like a business!" That is both a naive and callously simplistic statement (although in terms of pure propaganda, it sounds okay--sort of like "No Child Left Behind." And we know how that's been screwing up the educational system).

If and when that school-as-business model is implemented, then "education" quickly becomes all about hitting numbers, not about actually learning anything.

Inflicting a business model on schools will mean that the creativity and inspiration in school (on the students' side and the teachers') will immediately disappear, replaced by the simple fear of not earning enough to put bread on the table.

It's so wrongheaded to say, "We're going to run this school like a business!" that I am not even going to waste my time explaining it further (I have an article to write, and a deadline).

You either get it, or you don't.

Speaking of "getting it," there has long been an incorrect and offensive statement floating around. I'm sure you've heard, "Those who can't do, teach."

The statement is actually Aristotle's, and this is the real thing: "Those who know, do. Those who understand, teach."

Don't you feel better now?

My best to all teachers. Hang in there...and keep on top of the good activism that is happening to reform American education and move it away from the insensitive, dead-wrong corporate model some unthinking types have thrown in our way.

Teachers who care are trying to make education and schools better...don't be duped by the businessmen! They have no idea how to teach.

How's that Amnesia? Here's a Fact-Based Debt Refresher

2011-07-28T07:58:00.001-04:00

Still feeling crazy about the debt ceiling debates and LIES? I am.

Here's a good new article I found. Responsible journalists are found mostly in print (and, I believe, only in non-Murdoch-owned publications).

The opener (does it grab you?) by Michael Grunwald:

If the debt-limit debate had anything to do with reality, every story about it would include a few basic facts. Starting with: President Obama inherited a $1.2 trillion budget deficit. And: Republican leaders supported the tax cuts and wars that (along with the recession, another pre-Obama phenomenon) created that deficit. Also: Republicans engineered this crisis by attaching unprecedented ideological demands to a routine measure allowing the U.S. to pay its bills. Finally, Obama and the Democrats keep meeting those demands—for spending cuts, then for more spending cuts, and even for nothing but spending cuts—but Republicans keep holding out for more.

These are verifiable facts, not opinions. But since they aren’t new facts, and re-reporting them would make “GOP claims” about the crisis look, um, non-factual, they’re rarely mentioned, except as “Democratic claims.” This is a real problem for journalism in an era where—now this is an opinion—one of the major parties has abandoned its grip on reality. I understand why objective reporters aren’t encouraged to contradict political lies with historical truths, but this hostage drama is one of the prices of our era of amnesia.

Bush and Obama: The Debt Breakdown in a Handy Graphic

2011-07-25T21:39:00.003-04:00

Here is an important graphic, and a great, quick and informative piece on the real debt breakdown. Thanks to Ezra Klein, The New York Times and the Washington Post for writing and disseminating this. More people need to see it (although I see from extremist comments that some people still refuse to believe it).

Take a look at how it stacks up. Notice something? There's a heck of a lot more debt racked up under Bush. You can thank the Bushwars and the Bush tax cuts, but hey--I never thought any of that was a good idea.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/ezra-klein/post/obamas-and-bushs-effect-on-the-deficit-in-one-graph/2011/07/25/gIQAELOrYI_blog.html?fb_ref=NetworkNews&fb_source=home_multiline

A Republican Who Knew Better. Wake Up, Lawmakers!

2011-07-22T11:30:00.002-04:00

I am so frustrated lately by the debt/budget talks that are going nowhere in Washington-- in light of the fact that one side cannot see (are they blind?) that sure, we can cut, but we also need to increase revenue (huge DOH!) The wars must end (we can't pay for them), and the ultra-wealthy and corporations need to be taxed. America's debt cannot, if lawmakers are moral, be shouldered by the struggling middle class.

The debt ceiling must be raised in order to protect our economy and our people, but no, instead, certain factions are quite literally holding the American people hostage! They care NOT about America; they only want to see crisis after crisis so that their precious corporations end up controlling all of us and the world. They want to protect the uber-wealthy at the expense of everyone else...never mind that if the US goes into default, we will all be screwed with our pants on.

Do these people not remember that their saint Reagan raised the debt limit something like 17 times? Bush the Dubya--try seven.

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up!

"Cut, Cap, and Balance" sounds faboo, in theory, but is actually big-time stupid and no sort of solution at all. Listen to people like David Gergen. Listen to reason.

The intractability of the House right now makes me sick to my stomach.

It's so bad right now in America. So bad. I wonder all the time why my generation has it so hard when our parents had it so easy. I have written before that every generation needs be careful and ensure that its decisions will not negatively affect future people. I was called some kind of traitor for daring to suggest that relaxing pollution laws for Big Business was a bad idea (Hey! Let 'em pollute all they want! So what if it gives our kids cancer?). I am flabbergasted (flabbergasted, I tell you!) by people who think that forcing megacorps to pay to do business a little more neatly is somehow "stupid."

This whole situation makes me feel crazy. I take heart that people are waking up to how they've been duped by a certain party, and tricked into voting against their own personal (and their children's--that's what kills me!) interests.

I used to be terrified of the idea of upheaval such as we seem to be on the brink of, but now I welcome it. It is necessary, I think. To get better, we may have to hit bottom first.

In the meantime, more wise words from the forever-impressive Abraham Lincoln:

“The money powers prey upon the nation in times of peace and conspire against it in times of adversity. It is more despotic than a monarchy, more insolent than autocracy, and more selfish than bureaucracy. It denounces as public enemies all who question its methods or throw light upon its crimes…. corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money powers of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed."

– Abraham Lincoln

Read some Lincoln, lawmakers, Think about what he knew that you don't. Remember, there is no crime worse than doing nothing to help those in need. And you are doing nothing.

Summer Reading: the Monkey on Your Back

2011-07-21T08:12:00.004-04:00

First things first: I love summer reading! I loved doing the reading (and in complete seriousness here, I used to have lists of 30 books to read in summer. I am not lying. This was specifically for 7th grade!) when I was in school.

I still "do the reading" to help my students. I still love it. Last summer I read Autobiography of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie and Life of Pi by Yann Martel. This summer, it's All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque. (I don't have to read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon since I taught it for five years.)

As a high school teacher, I also loved to assign reading over the summer. I tried to assign four or five books, if I could, just to up the quota of books my students would actually read before graduation--after which point I could not control their reading in any way-- but then a school administrator cut the list so harshly I actually gasped.

The admin declared, "Redbook magazine had a piece on not making kids read too much."

What?! Redbook magazine is a mommy magazine. Mommies are burdened when their kids have summer reading assignments (more on this later). There's an obvious bias going on, I think.

But why not read over the summer? As I say to students all the time, "What else do you honestly have to do? You can't find time to read in the 90 days of free time you have? There aren't 20-40 minutes a day when you might pick up a book? You'd enjoy reading. I promise you. Just try it..."

I now tutor all the time, and my summers are filled with sessions of helping my tutees get their reading done, understand what they've read, articulate the themes of the books assigned, take intelligent notes, and write reports.

It's a universal rule (at least in my life) that students I tutor will look at me with palpable fear and anxiety in our first session when I ask the dreaded question, "So...do you have any summer reading? Let's talk about that."

Almost inevitably, I was hired to help by the student's mother (moms end up bearing much of the brunt of taskmasters, and most moms I know seem to have their own summers ruined by the need to constantly nag their kids, "Did you read today?"). The student may initially believe--as we all do, I am sure--that he or she "doesn't need" a tutor, that he or she will get the reading done just fine all alone.

But then we start to discuss the books. I scribble a schedule of reading to help the student stay on task and get it over with in a reasonable amount of time (I say no more than two weeks to finish a book. Why? I have many reasons, but foremost is my belief in "not dragging this thing out").

Once we get the books read, the student can finally shake off that monkey on his or her back. The student can finally relax. And the student also feels confident that the books were fully understood. (The books were also, in the end, appreciated, but that's another issue.)

It is in our one-on-one discussions of the literature assigned that I really start to see these students get it. Their eyes--one dead and full of dread--now literally light up. When I coach them in how to connect the themes of a novel they've just read to their own life and to life in general, they--all of a sudden, and maybe for the first time (but I hope not!)--see why people read.

We read in order to understand more about what it means to be human.

My primary question to my students after any reading is, "What do you think this book has to teach us about being alive?"

That is the only question we really need to ask, I think, after reading. With that one question, we can easily see what the point was. We can immediately see a list of relevant and resonant themes. We can better appreciate our own existence and our own journeys. We can feel gratitude to the writer for so delicately weaving a tapestry of description and emotion and meaning.

In short, if we ask that question, we will get it. And once we get it, we will only want to read more.

So, my question to students, teachers and parents is: don't you love summer reading yet?

Do you get it?

Read one more book and then put it down and ask yourself, "What do I understand now about life that I didn't before?" Within 10 minutes, it will be obvious...and you'll find yourself reaching for another book.

A final note: I was telling one of my students that we could have more productive and lively discussions about literature if he would read more of the book before we talked. (It is hard to discuss literature in tiny pieces). It wasn't that he hadn't read enough (we were just getting started); this was just one of my hints for "getting more out of school."

As I explained, "Sometimes, it is hard to see the forest for the trees."

Yes, I then explained this cliched metaphor to my student. But he brightened after I did. "I just remembered something," he said. "The best students in my classes, the ones who always aced all the reading tests, they always read the entire book before we started talking about it in class."

"That's exactly what I mean," I said.

"They always got, like 98s," said my student thoughtfully. A switch had flipped. There was another reward attached to reading!

He picked up his book with renewed energy.

"Four chapters a day," I reminded him. "More or less--depending on the length of the chapters. And budget your time. If you're going to a concert and you won't be around to read one day, then you read more the day before. Stay on schedule. You have three more books to read this month, but you can do it."

"I like these books," my student remarked, running a hand tenderly over their shiny covers.

"I knew you would," I said.

Idiomatic Expressions for Non-Idiots

2011-07-11T12:31:00.007-04:00

Idioms have been coming up like hotcakes, and just falling from the sky lately. Like manna from heaven. (Yes, all idiomatic puns are intentional).

My students need to know and become familiar with idioms. Why? Because, for the most part, they are non-native English speakers. These weird, idiomatic, "No, it doesn't literally mean that; it's either metaphoric, or a reference to some obscure, pop-culture phenomena that was before your time but which people still mention," expressions are everywhere, and they are not going away. Like post-apocalyptic roaches.

My students are, however, high achieving and very smart, hard workers. They know what they need to understand and do in order to get the best grades and highest exam scores.

To that end, I have been asked to help my students (they asked me, all by their lonesome [selves]) with idioms.

Non-native speakers of ANY language will never ace some critical reading tests without understanding idioms.

This is why I--after years of studying French, and despite being a decent student of the language--knew I would bomb the SAT II in French; it's rife with idioms I've never heard. I self-tested, and sure enough, it was a no-go.

As an aside: if you want my advice about foreign language SAT IIs (subject tests), that advice generally is: "Don't bother unless you lived in that country or have a native parent who speaks the language to you at home. You think you'll do well, but you won't." Sorry to be negative; that is God's honest truth.

I say that, and yet...my students now exemplify precisely the opposite! They show that it is indeed possible to score very well (near perfect!) on the SAT even if the test-taker is a non-native English speaker/writer.

If you are willing to work your tail off, you can do it. I just don't think too many people are willing to give it a go or run with it as much as the students I am currently teaching.

Now, in order to help ANY student who wants to bone up on idioms, I've been keeping a list of idiomatic expressions I've seen lately (and ones off the top of my head--snap!).

An essay I read by Cindy McCain, "Spouses Get a Bad Rap," was a treasure trove of idioms. The entire piece was littered with them, like dandelions.

Thanks to that short memoir on what it's like to be a political spouse (as seen in Newsweek, May 23 & 30, 2011) I was able to explain:

Stepford wives (this was a highly amusing conversation!)
pushing [you] out of the nest, to see if [you] can fly; "they fling you off and expect you to fly..."
pull off the trail
recharge your batteries
sour grapes (sour-graping)
living inside a bubble
get a bad rap (this led to discussion of the criminal's "rap sheet")
being someone's "eyes and ears" (thankfully, this is self-explanatory)
in the cards
front-row seat to...
inner workings
tough pill to swallow

We also talked about:

a tough row to hoe
we're all in the same boat
empty nesters
feeling "shaken up"
being "on cloud nine"
in the doghouse
pushing the envelope
walking on air
talking turkey
same difference
up in the air
too many balls in the air (juggling)
flying off the handle
steam coming out of [your] ears (feeling "steamed")
feeling "in a bind"
being "on the fence"
feeling "down in the dumps"
standing up [for someone or something]
being on Skid Row

If you can think of more idiomatic expressions, feel free to comment or send me an e-mail. Every little bit helps.

Best,

The Internet Review of Books: The Gods of Greenwich

2011-06-22T17:15:00.003-04:00

Here is my latest book review: The Internet Review of Books: The Gods of Greenwich

I am fiscally challenged, but I do a decent job (I hope) of reviewing Norb Vonnegut's new financial thriller about inscrutable hedge fund traders in Greenwich, CT.

Happy reading!

Ned Hardy's 100 Most Beautiful (English Language) Words

2011-06-18T13:19:00.001-04:00

http://nedhardy.com/2011/05/15/100-most-beautiful-words-in-the-english-language/

Well worth a read! I concur on most of those words.

Which leads me to: what are your favorite words in other languages? I have long been partial to "avec" (French).

How to Create a Martyr: Try to Silence Him (or Her)

2011-06-14T10:16:00.011-04:00

For many years of my life, I studied Philosophy. And when I say I studied it, I mean I studied it hardcore, from Plato and Aristotle and Socrates to Martin Buber and Ludwig Wittgenstein and Simone de Beauvoir. I had professors tell me I'd be a philosopher myself, but I gave it up after I started getting bored with the subject, feeling there was not much more that was fresh and new.

I was nevertheless delighted in my have-to-own-it-nerdy way to read a piece in The New York Times (June 12, 2011) Opinionator section online: "Philosophy as an Art of Dying" by Costica Bradatan.

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/06/12/philosophy-as-an-art-of-dying/

This essay is not just about philosophy; it's about the ways in which philosophers made other people nervous by thinking too much out loud. Threatened by the big ideas of the philosophers, the overly righteous had them silenced (usually, killed).

Those who agreed to shut up and burn their writings and disappear into obscurity escaped with their lives--yet lost their purpose.

Those who stood up for their values lost their lives but enjoyed immortality, in a very real sense, and the spreading of their ideas by way of their tragic personal stories.

As Bradatan writes of some philosophers, "...their way of life leads them to a situation where they have to choose between remaining faithful to their ideas or renouncing them altogether. The former translates into 'dying for an idea'...This seems to be the toughest of choices. In simpler terms, it boils down to the following dilemma: if you decide to remain faithful to your views, you will be no more. Your own death will be your last opportunity to put your ideas into practice. On the other hand, if you choose to 'betray' your ideas (and perhaps yourself as well), you remain alive, but with no beliefs to live by."

This is the "limit situation" of the philosopher. Where are his or her limits? Will he or she pass the test? What is the test? The philosopher's ideas are battling the hands-over-ears "You think too much!" idiocy of those who are unmoored by what the philosopher is saying.

Think for a second: what was Socrates saying? He was saying we should consider the very idea of Zeus. Is Zeus real? Let's not take our parents' words for it; let's actually use our brains. He didn't say that God does not exist; he merely said, in essence, Let's discuss the issue in an intelligent way.

For this, he was killed.

I said, "Let's read more and consider all the issues before we take our parents' words for which way we should vote." I got death threats galore (galore is such a stupid word--sorry) for daring to write this.

I took down those words because I don't enjoy threats and I'd been through enough. I nearly died as the result of the persecution I suffered.

I was also attacked most ferociously, and unjustly, for daring to write that I was "dismayed" as a teacher who taught a very specific lesson about using a civil tone in writing, and I had begged my students not to write about politics...guess what I heard? Incivil tone in a speech about strident, divisive politics. Yes, I was dismayed. You would be, too, were we to trade places.

I took down those words, too, but I would not retract them or cease writing about these and other issues, because I know my words were true, and, I believe, useful. They sum up, in many ways, my purpose: getting people to think.

I do not claim to have all the answers, and that is the point. The point is that I am a teacher and yet I am well aware that I know nothing. What I know is that none of us truly know anything. We only think we do, so we might as well think for ourselves so at least we can "own" our ideas.

If you don't even want to think, if you have no writings or ideas of your own on this or any other subject, I wish you no harm. I am, however, quite different. I like to think about thinking (how very meta of me!)

I realize there are risks in writing and speaking and sharing thoughts, but the only way, as Aristotle once said, to avoid criticism is to not have any ideas in the first place. Only those who are nothing and have nothing to offer will face no criticism.

Philosophers seem to have a special pull toward criticism and martyrdom--unfortunately. But, as Bradatan writes in his prescient essay, "Dying is just half of the job: the other half is weaving a good narrative of martyrdom and finding an audience for it. A philosopher's death would be in vain without the right narrator, as well as the guilty conscience of a receptive audience. A sense of collective guilt can do wonders for a narrative of martyrdom about to emerge. [Philosopher-martyrs] cease to be people in flesh and blood and are recast into literary characters of sorts..."

Plato made Socrates into a literary philosopher-martyr, Bradatan writes. In Socrates' story, he notes, "...we have almost all the ingredients of any good narrative of martyrdom: a protagonist who, because of his commitment to a life of virtue and wisdom-seeking, antagonizes his community; his readiness to die for his philosophy, rather than accept the dictates of a misguided crowd; a hostile political environment marked by intolerance and narrow-mindedness; a situation of crisis escalating into a chain of dramatic events; the climax...and finally the heroic, if unjust, death of the hero, followed by his apotheosis."

Socrates' ideas--his urging to get his students to think--made him into a martyr. He faced intolerance and provincialism in his community (as I did--although only from very few, but very loud, people).

I am no Socrates, but there is an overall similarity in our stories. I've written the entire narrative in my memoir, "Too Cool for School," and noted, in the prologue, how my teaching life is quite like the arc of a classic Greek tragedy.

Although I did not enjoy this experience of martyrdom in the slightest, the big ideas remain. My words are there, and they will be shared. The intolerant types could not silence me, and I know my memoir will be important to other teachers, to students, and to thinking, caring people everywhere. By documenting the savagery, I hope to prevent it from happening to anyone else!

Now, I do not urge other people to become martyrs to philosophy--because it sucks--but I do urge people to read the stories of how this happens, in the hope that it will cease happening, that people will stop attacking others for urging them, simply, to think.

In order to help the thinking process, I've written a book that will be out soon. I will write more about that when I have a physical copy of the finished product ("Too Cool for School"--that's tongue-in-cheek) here to officially hawk to the masses.

Thanks for reading. And thanks for thinking!

Best,

EC

P.S. Here's a great comment from Bradatan's reader comments section:

Socrates knew what he was doing. And it had nothing to do with dying a noble death. He was simply not afraid.
He was not afraid of those who judged him. And he was not afraid to affront his fellow Athenians with his questionings. He understood that men -- and women -- made an enormous investment in their beliefs and that those beliefs were their bane. It was of paramount importance never to be "wrong". So important that they killed him for showing them to be the fools they were.
In fact, Socrates did not know whether he was "right" or "wrong". Such terms had no validity in his exploration of istigkeit. That was why he was finally able to accept the Delphic Oracle pronouncement that he was the wisest man alive: only he, alone among his fellow men, understood and accepted that he knew he knew nothing.

Judy Blume Speaks About Censorship and Good Teachers

2011-06-08T10:37:00.019-04:00

http://judyblume.com/censorship/places.php

Judy Blume was definitely one of the most important children's authors I read when I was younger. I probably--as many enthusiastic readers did--took out her books at a more tender age than even Ms. Blume might have imagined.

Did this hurt my impressionable young mind? Hardly.

Rather, Judy Blume books opened up a realistic world to me, showing me, even when I was young, that life is not necessarily easy for anyone, but we can always get over the things we think are terrible burdens. (I am specifically thinking of "Deenie" and "Tiger Eyes" when I write this, although even "Fudge" deals with accepting and even appreciating that which makes us different, whether it's a personal problem or worrying too much about what other people think).

I was reading Judy Blume's amazing essay about censorship (link is above, and this is the introduction to a new anthology on the topic, "Places I Never Meant to Be"), and I was especially touched by her focus, near the end, on great teachers she has known who are no longer teaching because they were driven out of the profession by judgmental, hyper-conservative people who misunderstood their noble mission and purpose.

An excerpt from the excerpt, by Judy Blume: It's easy to become discouraged, to second guess everything you write...I've never forgiven myself for caving in to editorial pressure based on fear, for playing into the hands of the censors. I knew then it was all over for me unless I took a stand. So I began to speak out about my experiences. And once I did, I found that I wasn't as alone as I'd thought...
In Panama City, Florida, junior high school teacher Gloria Pipkin's award-winning English program was targeted by the censors for using Young Adult literature that was depressing, vulgar, and immoral, specifically I Am the Cheese by Robert Cormier...a year later, when a new book selection policy was introduced forbidding vulgar, obscene and sexually related materials, the school superintendent zealously applied it to remove more than sixty-five books, many of them classics, from the curriculum and classroom libraries. They included To Kill a Mockingbird, The Red Badge of Courage, The Great Gatsby, Wuthering Heights and Of Mice and Men. Also banned were Shakespeare's Hamlet, King Lear, The Merchant of Venice and Twelfth Night. Gloria Pipkin fought a five-year battle, jeopardizing her job and personal safety (she and the reporter covering the story received death threats) to help reinstate the books. Eventually, the professional isolation as well as the watered-down curriculum led to to resign. She remains without a teaching position.

It scares me how many parallels I see between my own life and what happened to Gloria Pipkin. Standing up for what you believe in does not always help you win the fight; sometimes, it just gets worse. Will it eventually get better?

We have to all fight to ensure that censorship of ideas (and people in schools) stops. Right now. This, to me, is where the focus should be, and this, to me, is the point of discussing ideas about censorship.

What will our children lose if we censor their lives? Sure, they could "lose" bad things we don't want them to know about--that is the hope, anyway--but they might also lose a real perspective on life. They might lose great teachers who could have helped them in innumerable ways.

Sugar-coating things and pretending that different opinions do not exist does not help anyone, in the long run.

Isn't it a million times worse to realize, when you finally grow up, that you're not the World's Greatest Softball Player or Most Brilliant Student? A short lifetime of being told you're perfect does decades of disservice (and causes major depression) later on.

I am not saying we should be harsh to children. Never. What I am saying is that we always need to tell them the truth. No one is perfect. We all just do our best.

As long as we aren't hurting other people, then our best is Good Enough.

More from Judy Blume:
The bottom line is, censorship happens, often when you least expect it. It’s not just about the book you may want to read but about the book your classmate might want to read. It’s not just about teachers and librarians at other schools who might find themselves in job-threatening situations -- it could happen at your school. Your favorite teacher, the one who made literature come alive for you, the one who helped you find exactly the book you needed when you were curious, or hurting, the one who was there to listen to you when you felt alone, could become the next target.

An Excellent Speech, Right Here (David Foster Wallace, Kenyon College)

2011-05-31T19:48:00.000-04:00

http://www.scribd.com/doc/16985213/Dfw-Commencement

Please read the wonderful commencement speech penned and spoken by David Foster Wallace, an amazingly talented writer who committed suicide.

Note the big ideas he discusses. Note the idea of "worship" and moving beyond self-centeredness.

This is a very Yoga-ish (and Zen-like) "be in the moment!" speech. It is well worth your time to read it, to remember DFW, and to think about what we have or have not achieved since graduation, despite the hope we might have felt on that day.

What have you forgotten now that you thought you knew then? What have you learned?

If you haven't kept on learning, then college was--I fear--a waste of time for you.

College is not just four years. Education should never have a stopping point.

Jaxonia: The 800-lb Hawk in the Room

2011-05-27T11:50:00.000-04:00

Jaxonia: The 800-lb Hawk in the Room

Backpacker Memories: The Good Girl's Guide to Getting Lost by Rachel Friedman

2011-05-20T11:18:00.005-04:00

Let me start by saying that yes, I have done the college backpacking / touring-the-world thing.

I didn't get to see quite the whole world before I ran out of money, and although I love to travel, I did not love backpacking. But that's mostly because I hate to feel grimy, and I don't enjoy wearing the same jeans for two weeks, and not getting sleep on countless hairy bus rides or overnight train rides gets old fast for me. I also have (or had, when I was younger) a very annoying tendency to get incredibly (as in near-death) sick when off-the-grid and very far from home and hospitals. But that's just me.

I still--of course!--see the value in travel. Nothing is more broadening than travel; almost nothing (besides reading) could be more important when it comes to helping people grow in intellect, empathy, and experience than seeing more of the world.

I hope my own children will take at least a year--possibly in between high school and college?--to seriously travel.

What makes me write now about backpacking is the fact that I recently picked up Rachel Friedman's new coming-of-age memoir, The Good Girl's Guide to Getting Lost. I was hesitant, for some strange reason, to check out this book, and I was not sure if I could bear to revisit the experience of my own youthful backpacking with all its highs and lows, but Friedman's effortlessly engaging writing voice immediately caught my attention.

Friedman shows how, as a "good girl" who had spent years sheltering herself, hiding away in basement music practice rooms, committing herself to pursuing a professional music career via the viola, she had much to see in the world. After realizing she was not quite great enough at the viola, Friedman needed to come to terms with herself and her purpose in life.

Traveling--at first, simply an escape--unexpectedly became her raison d'etre.

This is important for Americans to realize, because we do tend to be nation-locked creatures. This is not because, as Friedman points out, we are uninterested in the world around us, but mostly because of our economic issues. We have massive student debts and need to go right to work, if we can; also, we get hardly any vacation time from our jobs (certainly, nothing like the weeks or months that people in other countries enjoy). Traveling doesn't seem easy or possible for Americans, and so many people just never really do it.

Friedman dares, however, to travel--despite feeling guilty about not working and not being as "responsible" as the people around her. She takes the time to find herself, because she knows the investment in self-discovery will be worth it.

Beginning in Galway (Friedman hooked me: Galway, I agree, is a fabulous little city, and it's one of my favorite places) and then later moving on to Australia, Friedman both reminded me of my own travels while helping to open my mind to other places.

Case in point: Australia.

I will digress and say that when I was a backpacker, I thought the Aussies I met while traveling (and I met tons. Back when I was traveling, I thought the backpackers from Oz were rather rude--telling me, in hostels, to go fuck myself, for example, because I asked them to keep their raucous screaming down) were entirely too bad-ass.

I remember being stunned to feel so biased (and I still feel rather guilty about it, but hey, I had my reasons) because Americans usually have this pretty romantic idea about Australia. We loved Crocodile Dundee, after all. Most of the Australian travelers I met were loners, too, and my traveling companion and I quickly decided it was because they were simply too obnoxious for long-term company.

When I returned to my home base in Dublin, I told my Irish friends about these people I met. "Well, what do you expect from citizens of a nation populated by violent criminals?" I was told, over and over. At the time, I found this funny.

Friedman made me realize that I was right, in one sense, but also very wrong. She deftly explains the Australian national sensibility and how the "badass" or "rude" label is entirely too simplistic, while also explaining its true origins, and why an American's impression of an Aussie may be off-the-mark.

The rugged independence of the Australian traveler (it seems that nearly every kid in Australia attempts a long-term tour of the world, and this is, to be sure, impressive as an accepted rite of passage) is actually one of their best qualities, and one we would do well to emulate. Friedman ended up bonding with an Aussie traveler, and seeing much of the world with her. Traveling with such a fearless adventurer, eager to taste all of life, was good for Friedman, and helped her to evolve as a person.

After Australia, Friedman moves on to an epic tour of South America. We get it all here: big city life to death-defying bus rides (there is nothing like a 20-hour, winding, cliffside highway bus ride in a rickety Latin American bus, now is there? Scary as hell, but hey: it will change your life!); the jungle to the Andes and the salt flats.

South America tested Friedman, but it is in this section of her memoir that we truly see both the profound struggle and the amazing--spiritual, emotional, and scenic--rewards of traveling.

I love how, throughout her fascinating memoir (which I could not put down), Friedman shows us the good and the bad parts of traveling, and why it's so worth it, even when it's hard.

Minor criticism: I thought the chapter titles were overly cutesy (yet impressive).

Here's an example: "Our heroine dives into the depths of the briny sea, then launches herself from great heights. Survives the crocodile's lair and a particularly strong current, is rewarded with some small insights."

I liked the chapter descriptions when they appeared at the start of the chapters, but they were somehow overwhelming in the Table of Contents. Just an observation. The point may be that they do grab the reader's attention, even if they seem, at first, somewhat daunting in the TOC. Don't let these formal sounding descriptions dissuade you from reading.

I have to say that because one of my purposes in writing about books is to encourage other people to read them. Some people won't move past the first few pages of long, flowery chapter descriptions in Friedman's memoir, and that would be a crime.

One other thing that nagged at me: Friedman seemed to travel with very little money. On the one hand, I think she shows that it is possible. Just get out there and go for it! On the other, I thought to myself: who would go to Ireland for four months with $600? That seems more than slightly crazy. Yes, Friedman found a job, or jobs, but still...it's a scary prospect to imagine.

Likewise, Friedman headed to South America with $2,000 for several months of travel (with no working in the mix). She returned home with only a few pesos in her pocket (I've been there and done that, and I, too, was a victim of the "you must pay this steep exit-the-country tax before you can get on the plane" thing).

The point in traveling with so little cash may be that simply taking the leap is the first step, even if we are not as perfectly prepared as we think we should be. Friedman really shows how to do it all on the cheap, and how money is, in fact, overrated and doesn't need to get in the way of having adventures.

Read this book: it's an excellent, gripping, well written adventure in itself.

I especially recommend it for young women in high school and in college. After all, I told every student I had, when they asked me what they should do next with their lives: Travel!

I will be sure to recommend Friedman's memoir to them, but I actually recommend it for everyone. Friedman makes the travel bug delightfully contagious.

Why Yoga Will Not Fix Your Broken Life: From Elephant Journal

2011-05-16T06:43:00.004-04:00

I like this article on yoga from Julie Peters, so I will quote liberally and urge reads (see link below).

This piece is good because it's not just about the athletic and stress-relieving contortions of yoga (although I like those, too). It's about the real yoga, the off-the-mat lessons about life that we can learn as we sit there all twisted up in knots.

We knot ourselves up in yoga in order to release the knots...it's meditation in motion, and it's not always easy, but worthwhile things seldom are.

Happy Reading!

"Regardless of what people may try to sell you, yoga is not the solution to the problems in your life. It doesn’t make you any less vulnerable, it doesn’t guarantee you won’t fail, it doesn’t make you stop feeling pain, even (especially) if you succeed at that common yogic directive to “open your heart!” If anything, you become more sensitive when you practice yoga.

Photo: lululemon athetica

That well-known Buddhist precept of detachment doesn’t mean not having feelings. It means letting go of the fruits of your labour, of what you have no control over..."

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/05/why-yoga-will-not-fix-your-broken-life--julie-jc-peters/

Getting Back on the Horse (Reporting, That Is)

2011-05-02T15:54:00.007-04:00

Here's my long-awaited (by me, I mean) feature article on popular author Jonathan Evison, who wrote the big new book West of Here (2011, Algonquin Books) and the lovely coming-of-age novel All About Lulu (Softskull, 2008).

I am sure I drove JE nuts with my endless questions (and then, of course, I used about 5% of the answers he so graciously gave me). I called and e-mailed everyone who knows him, it seems. I spent what felt like a long time writing this article. I did this because, as I began to research and report the facts, I saw that Evison has important lessons for other authors and wannabe writers; he shows, by his own impressive example, how to develop meaningful and genuine relationships with people who can help you to sell your work.

http://www.bookslut.com/features/2011_04_017610.php

After all that, this is the end result. I am very happy right now to be featured on the acclaimed literary review and publishing website Bookslut (which, despite its irreverent title, is a big deal in the book world). I am also happy to write about Evison, such a nice guy and clearly, a very talented writer.

I urge reads of Bookslut, of Johnny's novels, and this article in particular, because I like getting the work.

Happy reading, EC

How Not to Get a Two on AP Exams: Sicker Than the Remix

2011-04-13T10:36:00.015-04:00

I had a student the other day beg me for tips on, "How Not to Get a Two on My AP Exam...Because That's Totally Humiliating."

I had to laugh, first because I completely understood, but also because I know that the AP exam scores get, quite literally, pinned to the wall in the faculty lounge.

I admire my student's desire to do well on her AP English exam. The perfectionist in me can absolutely relate...while the young-at-heart, "I'd rather read a book...and you should probably just read more books, too!" portion of my personality thinks there are better ways to honestly, deeply increase one's knowledge and prepare oneself for success in life than by test prep and cramming.

But because that's where the demand is, and that's what I do (I have written portions of these and other standardized exams, and I've consulted on two very nice AP test prep books, so I probably know the ins and outs better than many other people), I will oblige here.

When it comes to standardized exam advice, it must be remembered that I, like any other teacher, can only do my best. There are no guarantees that my advice will prevent the dreaded AP score of two.

Also, remember: your score is actually not your teacher's responsibility; it is yours. It is not fair to judge any teacher on one morning of test-taking. She can't take the exam for you; the students are filling in the bubbles and their score is to their own credit (or not).

Important to note is the sad fact that a certain portion of a school's population will ALWAYS get twos. There is--I kid you not--a quota for twos, and thus, twos must be doled out by the test-graders with some regularity.

This does not make the practice right (what if all the exams are really brilliantly completed from a particular school? Well, tough. Some kids are still getting twos, because life wouldn't make sense if everyone got a good grade, now would it? It might seem that something was corrupt or amiss), but it is just how it is.

If you don't want a two, my primary advice is: ANSWER THE ESSAY PROMPTS COMPLETELY AND EXACTLY (in fact, remember this: AP means Answer the Prompt).

There are prompts for all essays. Do not ignore any portion of them. Do precisely what they, in each case, say.

If, for example, the prompt refers to a Civil War-era political speech and asks you to analyze its rhetorical strategies, but instead you pump out some Tea Party platitudes in response and never talk about the use of language (only content, because you feel comfortable doing this and you're crammed full of platitudes, anyway), you are going down--hard--and not because of what you wrote.

You are going down because you ignored the assignment...which, to the minds of the graders, means that you are probably an idiot.

Remember, your job here is to give them what they want. I am as much of a rebel as anyone is, but AP exams are not the place to be rebellious. Give the people what they want, and what they want is what they told you they want.

If they want you to discuss nonfiction, then do not discuss a novel. You will fail.
If they ask you to discuss the use of ONE SYMBOL in a work of literature, do not discuss seven symbols. More is not better here. Doing more than they ask for means you didn't do what they asked you, and--perhaps counter-intuitively, to your mind--you will fail.
If they are asking you to respond to an excerpt of ancient Egyptian literature, don't discuss "The Shack." Actually, do not ever discuss "The Shack" on an AP exam, but that's a post for another day.
Do not skip any essays (doh!). You can't get a good score with an incomplete exam.
Make sure you study literary terminology that I believe (from experience) is mostly ignored in schools. You will need this high-level vocabulary in order to make sense of the quite difficult multiple choice questions.

Remember, you have three essays on AP English exams (lit and language). Your essay scores will be averaged, but nearly half of your ultimate grade comes from the m/c section. Do not ignore it. Doing well here can seriously make all the difference in your score.

Most AP exam takers get a solid half of these questions wrong, so if you can beat that, you are already starting to shimmer a little bit...get it? You are nearly golden. (Of course, the essays DO count, but there are three of them, so you could potentially zone out a tad on one and still get by. That said, I only shoot for a 5, because there's no point in shooting for lower. So, I am a bit of a hardass, and I think you should try your best on everything).

I have a book to edit, so I can't say much more right now. See my posting in May of last year ("Day of Reckoning") for more specific test-taking and AP exam essay-writing tips.

Good luck!

Philadelphia/Rocky-ism Worth Sharing

2011-04-03T22:53:00.002-04:00

A snippet on the jumbotron at today's Philadelphia Flyers vs. New York Rangers hockey game was--no surprise--from Rocky.

It reminded me that Rocky was a really good movie (not only the first--although, as usual, the first was the best), and one I should show to my kids.

But not only that, this snippet (see clip below) is worth remembering for another reason, one that is both universal and deeply personal.

I hope it inspires some of you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1tXhJniSEc

Words to Live By (or at least study)

2011-03-24T10:25:00.007-04:00

My life has lately been a flurry of helping other people take standardized exams (SAT, PSAT, SSAT, ACT, AP English exams. SAT subject tests and even the LSAT), and if there is one thing I know for dang sure it is this: wide readers ace these exams because reading--and only reading--gives students exposure to more words.

It's all about the vocab, after all. Most of the Verbal questions on these tests are actually veiled vocabulary questions.

The Writing multiple-choice questions can be answered easily by students who have naturally absorbed the rules of good writing through reading.

Example #1 (pretty easy for educated adults; not that easy for a weak reader who is 16 or 17 years old): Hoping to reverse the final call in the game, advocates for the defeated champions submitted a statement claiming that the game had been run by ________ referees.

A) venal

B) incorruptible

C) illustrious

D) prodigious

E) veracious

Obviously, students need to know these words--or at least they need to know if the words are good/bad, or positive/negative. Clearly, a negative word is needed here, and the only negative word is venal.

Example #2 (slightly harder--still manageable for well read people, but I have yet to find a tutee who can easily answer this question, probably because the words are old-fashioned in some cases):
Some airport concourses are so heavily laden with people and luggage that even the most _____ travelers find them virtually _________.
A) cumbersome....cluttered
B) spry....unnavigable
C) weary....byzantine
D) seasoned....unsullied
E) active....passable

I won't get into the tricks typically employed in the double sentence completion questions (the writers like to make one word on either end work, while the other doesn't, just to confuse students). That's a strategy discussion for another day. So, what's the answer?

It's B.

(Both examples quoted from my absolute favorite SAT prep book, "Outsmarting the SAT" by Elizabeth King).

The SAT, like any of these exams, is full of questions that use challenging vocabulary words as possible answers. If students are unfamiliar with those words then they are up a creek when it comes to answering, aren't they?

Yes, students can get handy lists of vocab words to study before the big standardized exams. This may help a bit (it will definitely help more than NOT studying vocabulary).

But, after a certain point, if a student hasn't really, truly been a reader until very recently, he or she will never do as well as the kid that has always liked books, the student who has always read everything.

I was that sort of kid. I would read medicine bottles, any old magazine I could find (on any subject). I liked novels, yes, but my favorite book as a child was--I kid you not--a joint replacement textbook, albeit one written for a younger audience.

I also loved reading about Switzerland for some reason, and this came on the heels of Johanna Spyri's Heidi...as I told one of my tutees recently, "The mark of a good student is that she will get inspired by a certain idea she reads about, and then seek out and read everything else she can find on tangentially related subjects."

That's what I did with Switzerland. The aforementioned classic novel Heidi and a kindergarten report on climate in Switzerland led me to a few years of reading about cheesemaking, tuberculosis sanitariums and even yogurt testing as a possible career. (What can I say? When I was younger, I thought that sounded amazing. I really like yogurt.)

People who like to read will always jump at the chance to read more. But why wouldn't a student like to read?

Reading is a relaxing or exciting or inspiring escape. Once a child gets a taste of how delicious reading can be, she will want to read more.

Having a parent who is always reading serves as a great motivator. Read to your kids and in front of your kids. Show your kids that reading is a delight.

The best thing anyone can do for children is to give them a great book and keep supplying them with books, enabling the book habit. Establish a book habit early on for your kids; make the library or bookstore a treat to visit.

I work with a student now who will literally reach for his ever-present book if I even stop talking for one and a half seconds. This child is super smart, and he reads constantly. He has to read. He blows my mind in terms of how much he knows.

We were speaking yesterday--I work with him only to provide him with more intellectual stimulation and enrichment--about the trifecta of crises in Japan (earthquake, tsunami, nuclear facility catastrophes), and he impressed me to no end because he already knew, at his very tender age, about Strontium 90 and the periodic table of elements, and all sorts of other things that he was only aware of because he reads.

This is what a difference reading can make. An elementary school child can know more than most adults. It helps to start young, sure, but the point is this: Just start reading. Read every day.

A recent educational study in England ended with the recommendation that kids read 50 books a year. That works out roughly to a book a week.

I've been saying that my whole life (and it takes a formal study for people to actually consider it, right?)...read a book a week, at least.

I tell all my tutoring students to also read a few magazines a week. Start with one news article a day; work up from there. It's easy to fit in reading while using exercise machines, or while lying in a bathtub. Read in the car (unless you're driving; in which case, listen to an audiobook or NPR).

Fit more reading into your life and you'll increase your exposure to words and inevitably become a smarter person, a more accomplished student, and a higher-scoring test-taker.

I'll leave you with the hints I always give my students: Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel, The Scarlet Letter contains dozens of words that regularly find their way onto the SAT. (The vocab in Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights, another classic 19th-century novel, is largely the same.)

Students should also make their own vocabulary flashcards--this helps sear new words into the memory by incorporating kinesthesia with visual learning. The act of researching the best and shortest definition and thinking about word tricks and related words helps, too.

See my previous posting on word study here (one of my favorite postings): http://prettyfreaky.blogspot.com/2010/09/you-say-you-know-what-that-word-means.html

Aim to learn 20 new words a week! That's in addition to the one book (at least) you should be reading, along with the news magazines.

You say there isn't time? Make the time. Your life (and your test scores) will be enriched immeasurably.

It's worth the time it takes to do this.

Hope Can Stir the Near Dead: AN AMERICAN RADICAL

2011-03-09T20:50:00.002-05:00

Here's my latest book review on the IRB. Click the link to check it out!

The Internet Review of Books: An American Radical:

AN AMERICAN RADICAL: A Political Prisoner in My Own Country
By Susan Rosenberg

Reviewed by Elizabeth Collins

If You Get an 800 on an SAT Unit, Does That Mean It Was Perfect? No.

2011-03-07T10:47:00.004-05:00

I finally watched "The Social Network" yesterday after hearing countless good things about the film.

I'd been worried that it would be sort of boring, and dark (as in low lighting of scenes--I hate that, for some reason; it makes me tense), with lots of unrealistically clever chatter reminiscent of "The West Wing," and no real action of consequence.

See here for snippets of trailers and stills: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1285016/

I was basically right about the film, although I actually did enjoy some of the unrealistically clever chatter...particularly when the Zuckerberg character fought back (in depositions) against the Winklevoss twins and their stodgy lawyer.

I still don't see why those guys deserved a massive settlement; I really don't. But hey--their daddy had a firm lawyer on retainer, and easy access to such tends to make people more litigious.

Still, I am glad I saw "The Social Network," if only to be able now to debunk the myth of the "perfect" SAT score.

In the opening scene, Mark Zuckerberg's girlfriend (played by the adorable Rooney Mara) asks him if it's really true that his 800s on the SAT unit sections meant he got no questions wrong.

The Zuckerberg character demurs for a while, but when he realizes that the gf thinks he's an ass and wants nothing more to do with him, he hastily mutters something like, "Yes, it means I got no questions wrong."

BZZZT! Incorrect.

The SAT scoring system is absurdly complicated, but I will do my best to explain it a bit.

An 800 on any unit of the SAT (whether it is Math, Verbal or Writing) means that the student who earned this score was in the top 1% of test-takers in that particular pool.
Therefore, a student could have gotten 99.2% of questions correct or 99.9% correct and earned the same perfect-looking 800. That does NOT mean that every answer was correct on that student's unit.
Experimental sections are ALWAYS in the mix somewhere. Those are not counted.
The SAT is also curved. (The curving equations are quite complex; I will spare you the actual algorithm, which varies.)
There are "raw scores" earned which later translate into the scores we know and love (or loathe), as in a raw score of 74 questions answered correctly out of 78=780. Similarly, a raw score of, say, 75 out of 78 could earn the test-taker an 800.
Different questions are also scored in varying ways--for example: a five-answer-choice question could cost a student 1/4 point if it is answered incorrectly, while a four-answer-choice question that is wrong could knock off 1/3 point.

It sounds niggling, but it does make a difference.

Questions left blank do not result in deductions of any kind (neither do blanks earn students any points).

Fair? Hah. Depends who is asking.

Complicated? Yes.

I am just about to take the SAT again. All serious teachers of SAT prep take the exam regularly (I am a serious SAT/ACT tutor. Feel free to contact me if you or your students need help.)

So now the question is: what score did I get last time? What do I think I'll get this time?

Let me put it this way: Zuckerberg and I have something in common, but I usually tell people I got a 780, just to be nice.

I know what I'm doing, and I know how to take this exam. I know its tricks; I don't let myself get trapped by it. Still, my score can vary, depending on the pool and the time of year. I know that, too.

I know that June is an especially lovely time for 800s...and January can be colder.

My parting words today will be these: don't wait until the last minute to get ready for the SAT.

I have students right now who are preparing YEARS in advance; I have students preparing one week in advance.

Which students have the better chance of success? That's a pretty easy question to answer.

More practice=more success.

Bonne chance. Read as much as possible. Study tons of vocabulary and don't believe the hype.

Insights, Indeed: Karen Heller Is A True Heroine Today

2011-03-06T10:11:00.007-05:00

Sometimes, I cannot even stand living in the midst of so many loud and nasty creeps who seem to seize every opportunity to decry basic humanitarian morals...all in the name of either money or because I guess they just don't understand the actual issues (as in working class people who vote against their own interests, because they have been brainwashed or duped).

Most days, I won't bother to read the local papers because the reader comments are so disgusting; it's probably the same people over and over, however, complaining about our president and basically being blowhards.

This has been going on for years; it is nothing new. I remember holding signs with my kids (before the 2004 election; we were pro-Kerry) and someone's grandfather shooting us the finger as he drove by, his elderly wife cowering in shame in the passenger seat.

Some other guy called me the c-word and spit at me, in front of my kids. For holding a Kerry sign and calling for the end of war.

Tremendous examples of civility, aren't they?

Today, though, I was so happy to read Karen Heller's piece in the Philadelphia Inquirer: "Quietly or loudly, governors make bad moves," in which she deftly skewers Chris Christie of NJ and Tom Corbett of PA for twisting the issues and riling up misguided hatred of precisely the wrong sides and people.

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/columnists/117476423.html

As Heller writes, Chris Christie has been busy "...pursuing the nastiest, vilest, most overcompensated form of humanity. Bankers? Mobsters? No, teachers...How Christie managed to gain traction attacking the very talent that draws so many residents to the state remains dumbfounding."

Christie apparently loves to talk loudly and is in everyone's face and all over the news all the time.

New PA Governor Tom Corbett, however, says nothing. He is a cipher (and, as Heller points out, reminds one of the North Korean regime in some ways).

That doesn't mean that Corbett isn't wreaking his own quieter havoc. We can be sure the bad news will eventually come out--indeed, AdultBasic health care just died on his watch. Why? As Heller explained, "It cost the state a pittance to run."

No, instead of AdultBasic, low income Pennsylvanians who aren't poor enough for Medicaid and not old enough for Medicare can now pay four times as much for worse care. That makes perfect financial sense! (yes, I am being sarcastic.)

Fiscally, ethically--cutting AdultBasic in favor of privately run cheap-but-still-expensive plans is precisely the wrong decision. "Poor health is something we all pay for," Heller writes, "just as poor schools become an untenable cost because they create an unprepared, underemployed, and uninsured workforce."

Thank you, Karen Heller, for pointing out that Christie and Corbett are demonstrating a lack of compassion and humanity, all in the name of budget cutting, and that "attacking teachers [and] allowing basic, inexpensive health coverage to expire is beyond troubling."

I hope to read more of your wise words. In the meantime, tune out the loud complaints of the critics on the comment boards. You're probably used to it by now, although it is truly disheartening to realize how wrong so many people are, how they just don't understand why helping each other helps us all.

Good Main Line Blog Post About Blogging Teachers

2011-02-21T21:07:00.009-05:00

Take a read and visit "Just Snarky" (below).

There are several lines in this post that resonated with me, chief among them being the ones about Main Line Catholics and, "Jesus also apparently loves bitchy alcoholic women." I almost fell off my inflatable ball chair when I read that.

Here are the goods--so good I had to repost:

I can't remember if I wrote about the Notre Dame teacher and the Main Line thuggery that ran that Elizabeth Collins out of town and out of a job. By all accounts (mostly what you read between the lines on her own blog ) - I think that the teacher from Notre Dame was quite abused, yes abused by those good Catholics - oh alrighty, so I am going to hell but there is nothing more hypocritical than Catholic school parents especially on the Main Line because they sooooo want to belong and have so many inner conflcts and issues I don't know why they just can't be themselves.

Sorry to go off on a side trip, but I find Catholics can be really cruel on the Main Line- they deny issues like...sexual abuse and priests (hello can you say current events with St. Kat's in Wayne and something to do with Malvern Prep?) And they ignore issues that abound at Archbishop Carroll, which by accounts I have heard is worse than the toughest inner city high school in take your pick of major metropolitan areas. And then there is all the hypocrisy of many Main Line Catholics in general - Jesus loves cheating husbands who would never separate their families - it's all about stepping out. And Jesus also apparently loves bitchy alcoholic women."

Snarky knows her Main Line.

I also appreciate the support from a total (and I mean total--identity shrouded!) stranger.

Snarky gets it. Thank you, Snarky! Keep on blogging...I can't wait to read more. I always enjoy the truth.

justsnarky: Are Teachers The New Victorians? Why Shouldn't They Be Able To Blog Like the Rest of Us?

Patti Smith - Horses & Hey Joe

2011-02-21T19:41:00.000-05:00